caughtinanetwork | Sermon Two

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Sermon Two

[Signless has chosen his location carefully; when he turns on the video function, there's a wall of water behind him, and a school of brightly colored tropical fish swimming past. He's very clearly in the bubble again.]

My friends, today I want to talk to you about fear.

[His voice is low and soothing, his story-telling voice.]

I have known great fear in my time. In my world, the color of my blood was a source of fear, something that drove me into hiding for a long time. Then, when I dreamed of the world that could be, rather than the world that was, I was afraid again... afraid that I would never see what I knew we were capable of come to pass. I was afraid to speak out, afraid to make a ripple in the still, stagnant waters of our society, and tried instead to live my meager little life underneath the notice of the highbloods.

But then I saw what my silence was doing, what those in similar positions were suffering, and I knew I could not stay silent. I could not sit idly by while our world rotted away from its very core, while its corruption bled away the talents and very lives of so many trolls who had done nothing beyond being hatched the wrong color. I could not wait for another to come along and demand change, or I would wait the rest of my life. I needed to cast aside my fear, to find a reserve of strength within me, and rise to what my world needed me to be.

[His voice falls, becoming hushed and soft, almost painfully honest, and he looks down, his cloak hiding his eyes.]

I was terrified. Casting off fear is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Fear is something I knew, its cold comfort as familiar to me as my guardian's face. It would have been... easy to live my entire life in fear, I thought.

[He looks up then, and his eyes are burning, his voice strong once more.]

I thought that fear was a cloak to hide me, but it was a chain I wore around my neck. When the fear was gone, when I made the decision to cast it aside, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It was how I imagine it must feel to wake up one morning with wings, and look out the window into an endless sky. When the fear was gone, I could breathe a deep breath for the first time in my life, and look to the future not as an ominous, foreboding thing, but as a path bathed in light and redemption.

I am not afraid any longer, Vatheon. This is my home now, and it is worth fighting for. I will not be driven out of my home again. I will not let fear control me.

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[His throat catches, furrowing his brows.]

t1NK...

...You are my matesprit.

I should have been with you when you were doing whatever secret things you were. It's nothing less than my duty and... I do not care for seeing people I care for, injured.

But if nothing else, I want to be able to do this.

[A grimace, watching him with a hand over his mouth, curled around his chin.]

1T'S UH,
mY BACK.
uH,
tHE AX1LLARY REG1ON OF MY R1GHT W1NG.

[Not thinking about if Darkleer knows what he means by that, but it's hard enough to tell him. Damage to his wings is something he... usually takes care of on his own, but that part of his back is out of his reach and he hasn't had it torn at before. He'd just let it heal on it's own, but... okay, maybe doing that just scares him. What if it doesn't heal right?]

Ah.

[A little noise of understanding. Don't worry, Summoner. Darkleer knows what you're talking about. He has always held a love of nature, and that has carried over into his work. All those robots he makes? Based off of real creatures. That means being very knowledgeable when it comes to their bodily structures.]

[Darkleer does his best to keep his voice quiet and calm, reassuring.]

Are you up on the island?

uH,
nO,
fOREST.
1 CAN ST1LL FLY, 1T'S JUST.
yEAH.

Shoosh. I'll come find you, then. I'm sure Dural can guide me, if you simply let her know.

[She's a fine bird like that.]

nO,
jUST,
dON'T, sER1OUSLY.

[Ugh, he, has mixed feelings... Damnit, why can't Mindfang be here, she was the only one who ever touched his wings... but even then it was still uncomfortable for him.]

Why?

[Please don't do this to him, Lysunder. Darkleer is more confused than ever.]

[It really takes a while for this response. Like, a while. Almost a hour.]

jUST.
1 UH,
1'M NOT SURE HOW TO WORD 1T.

[Why not use that one word you heard... Since that summed up the feeling pretty well. Even if he LOVES his wings they still make him sometimes feel like a-

fREAK.
1 GUESS.
1 DON'T KNOW.

Edited 2012-03-02 14:07 (UTC)

[Freak.]

[Oh.]

[The entire time, he waits for him. Only the first fifteen or so minutes are recorded on the SFC, and after that, it's anxiously pacing about his respite block, preparing to head out. But even when all his things are packed and ready, he doesn't leave.]

[He almost hates himself for doing that, but it's worth it when his SFC finally alerts him to a message.]

D --> I
D --> I know the feeling
D --> I do

yEAH.

[He really really doesn't know what to say right now...]

[Darkleer doesn't know what to say either. He's never really... had anyone guide him through this himself. No one to say he wasn't freakish. It was simply glossed over when it was. Who could he ever go to who would listen to his insecurities, that he could trust?]

D --> You're not
D --> You're not a freak, I mean to say
D --> Mutations are common enough
D --> And
D --> It certainly means something for the children
D --> For their time
D --> From what I understand, the possession of wings means you've accomplished something few others have
D --> Done something amazing
D --> And
D --> You are amazing Lysunder

[Shit don't.]

[Don't say that.]

[Don't be who you are and say that to him. It is just something entirely different seeing blue text say that, not even Mindfang said anything like that to him. They were close but it was always a 'bro' kind of close, shoulder punches and the like...]

[Shit, he has to actually, stop himself from tearing up, he can feel his eyes glass over.]

oKAY.
yOU CAN,
sEND dURAL TO F1ND ME.

D --> Alright
D --> Stay safe

[That... That went well? He thinks? He's never had to deal with someone who's so fragile underneath it all like this, not knowing how to deal with quadrants and being scared like this and... He's never had someone handle himself, what is he supposed to do for this?]

[But Summoner is letting him go find him so...]

[After making sure that everything is set in his hive, Darkleer sets off. Soon enough, he sees a familiar white form high in the sky, and he lets out a whistle to her. Dural twists about in the air, all light grace, and they're off.]

[He just waits in the tree, quiet, staring at his SFC. After a bit of just sitting and trying not to think about it he's feeling better, but he still remembers to keep his eyes open for Dural.]

[He doesn't start a commune with her, his last he had ended not too long ago, and besides, he figures she'll see him once she starts to fly over the woods, he usually likes to sit in the same tree, one of the tallest. Summoner'd be right too, because eventually he sees the white bird from afar. Though he doesn't move yet, just sits, waits for them to near enough to actually hover his way down past the canopy and to the ground.]

[A trilling little song comes from Dural when she sees him, and she dives down into the canopy when he does. Worried coos come from he, but she doesn't immediately go to land on him and fuss. She knows the situation, really. This is for Darkleer to figure out.]

[He takes a few minutes longer in arriving, and when he does, he pauses, gathering his words.]

If you sit down... I can take a look. If you want me to.

[Hesitant before he finally rises from the branch, his wings make subtle creaking sounds as they lift him to the air and Summoner's face becomes hardened, jaw tightening from the pain, but he says nothing as he drifts down to the ground, landing quietly. Once he finally does land, his wings don't close but stay fully open, eyes trailing to Darkleer, trying to smile, but this meet is far more terrifying to him than one would expect.]

Right...

Uh. [Breath.] How well do you know of a invertebrates? And the differences between indirect and direct flight? Are you familiar with the inner workings of wing joints and know the axillary units well? I think the humeral plate might be shifted but I don't know, and, and I'm not sure but I can't really feel the third axillary at all.

[He's babbling, because... because damnit this is really nerve wracking for him. He doesn't want to say he doesn't trust him, but he doesn't really trust anyone with this, not really.]

[And Darkleer lets him.]

[He just quietly approaches as that flurry of words goes on, removing his glasses and storing them away so that Summoner can see him bare. When the hurried rush finally lets him get a word in edgewise, Darkleer simply holds his hand out.]

I believe I'll manage. Come.

[He can't help the small step back he does, it's instant at seeing the hand approach. But he stops after and trails his eyes up to Darkleer's. A swallow, closing his eyes for a short while before turning around and sitting down. He takes out a knife and slices the wrappings on his chest. They were, for a man trying to wrap something protruding from his back, rather well put on, cradling the connection points of his wings. But they fall down and he pulls them aside, his wings staying open, the low sections folding along the ground on either side behind him.]

[It's pretty easy to see what he was talking about before. One of the wings seems fine, but the other doesn't open as much, and when looking at his back, the raised and plated surface where the wounded wing connects has some shifted units, plates torn from the flesh slightly, off set. Without the bandages they start to bleed a little and Summoner takes in a deep breath, hands wringing the cloth of his pants near his ankle as he flexes the muscles in his back, exposing the joint section more.]

[For a troll who has quickly set about repairing all manner of robotics and injured trolls in record time throughout his long life, it's an easy matter to see the spot just what has happened. He takes it all in, mind working like the machine he's practically made it. How to help it, fix the damage that's been done... With that going on, he takes a few steps more forward...]

[And then right around, as if ignoring the wings. Kneeling down in front of Summoner, Darkleer reaches out and calmly takes him by the chin. Leaning in, he presses their foreheads together.]

Everything is going to be alright. I won't hurt you.

[His eyes search quickly, trying his best not to emote as he watches him kneel down, almost recoiling before Darkleer puts a hand out and grasps his chin. Summoner stays quiet, feeling the cool touch of the blueblood's forehead against his own. Summoner's nostrils flare and he can feel a heat rise up in his face, eyes searching Darkleer's face before he manages a small nod, his hands loosening from the frayed red of his pants was gripping not just before.]

Okay.

[Darkleer stays there for a moment longer, amazed slightly at how warm Summoner's skin is against his. It still catches him by surprise, really. His thumb sweeps across his jaw and then he pulls back. This is a big deal, he knows. It makes his heart nearly twist in pity and love for the other troll.]

I'm sure you can underhand the technical terms well enough, given your eloquence before, but a visual representation may do you a bit better.

[Pulling out his communicator, he moves back behind Summoner and records the damage done with it. Afterwards, he hands it over to him.]

You were right. Some of the plates did shift.

[Summoner allows himself to enjoy the cool touch as well. He enjoys being warm most of the time, but sometimes it feels like he could just burst into fire, or melt from the heat. The cold skin to his is distracting him from the pain and worry for a short while before Darkleer pulls away.]

[Darkleer's decision to tape the damage on Summoner's back, while in a way kind of freaks him out to have to see, also really settles his nerves some how. Seeing the damage for himself to know exactly what's going on, it's reassuring and Summoner spend a good amount of time staring at his own SFC before finally nodding.]

What would you like to do about it then?

[This is the sure way to reassure the other. Let him have more control of the situation, let him know what's happened, let him decide.]

[Darkleer? He simply sits besides him, watching his expression.]

[Quiet for a moment, hand to his mouth, Summoner's nervous, worried, he doesn't want it to heal wrong... but-]

Just... make sure the plates are in their proper positions, and uh check... for any signs on infection.

[His tone is worried, strained, and the more he thinks about it the more nervous he gets, wings slightly shaking behind him.]

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