caughtinanetwork

0h.
well, if that's the way y0u feel ab0ut it, fine.
like i care.

y0u realize i've kept up with y0u this l0ng, right?
i kn0w i'm n0t that great, that i'm really pretty fucked up, and i'm 0nly a wiggler, but i've kept up with y0u, even th0ugh y0u're 0lder than me and n0t a helmsman 0r whatever h00fbeast shit.
but if i'm n0t g00d en0ugh f0r y0u, fine.

[There's a pause before Psii's next answer, and that's because there's a very gentle but determined scuffle going on at Hive Holy Bro.]

HELLO, SOL---OH, WAIT A MOMENT

THERE.
THAT'S BETTER.

HI, SOLLUX.

what the fuck.
where did y0u c0me fr0m?

PSII AND I LIVE TOGETHER.
I SAW HIM GETTING AGITATED, SO I TOOK HIS SFC. HE'S FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM, BUT SOMETIMES IT'S BETTER IF HE TAKES A STEP BACK FROM A CONVERSATION AND REGROUPS.

NOW, WITH YOUR PERMISSION... MAY I READ THE CONVERSATION THE TWO OF YOU HAD?

n0!
why was he agitated?

VERY WELL.
BUT WITHOUT READING THAT LOG, I WON'T KNOW WHY HE WAS GETTING UPSET.

IF I HAD TO GUESS, THOUGH? IT PROBABLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIS PROGRAMMING AND GETTING CONFLICTING MESSAGES.

fine, y0u can read it.
i d0n't kn0w ab0ut his pr0gramming, he was saying s0me creepy shit and c0nflicting things.
and then he said i wasn't g00d en0ugh f0r him and c0uldn't measure up, and then y0u sh0wed up.

OH, SOLLUX, SWEETHEART, I KNOW HE DOESN'T THINK THAT WAY. SOMETIMES THINGS GET MUDDLED AND HE CAN'T HELP IT. BUT GIVE ME A MOMENT TO READ THROUGH THIS, ALL RIGHT?

yeah, whatever.
i'm n0t g0ing anywhere.

[A few moments later...]

SOLLUX, LITTLE ONE... HE WASN'T DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. HE WAS DISAPPOINTED IN HIMSELF.

YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE HIS SKILL SET YET AT HACKING OR ENCRYPTION, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN COMMISSIONED. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TURNED INTO A HELMSMAN, MADE INTO A MACHINE. THE PSIIONIIC... HE DOESN'T ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT HE'S A TROLL, AND NOT JUST THE POWER SOURCE FOR A BATTLESHIP. HE'S LEARNING, AND REMEMBERING, AND GETTING BETTER, BUT IT'S TAKING A LONG TIME.

I KNOW THAT DEEP DOWN, HE'S PROUD OF YOU, AND IMPRESSED BY WHAT YOU CAN DO. IT'S JUST VERY HARD FOR HIM TO SAY.

he d0esn't have t0 be disapp0inted in himself!
it's n0t his fault that th0se unbelievable highbl00d assh0les did that shitty thing t0 him!
but he said we're n0t the same, that we've g0t n0thing in c0mm0n and
fuck
i just wasn't expecting my ancest0r t0 be like this.
vriska was always g0ing 0n ab0ut hers and eridan never fucking shuts up either.
and even terezi id0lizes her fucking stupid legislacerat0r ancest0r.
and mine wants n0thing t0 d0 with me.
i d0n't even want him t0 be amazing and s0mething t0 live up t0.
i just th0ught he'd understand me.

^The above post has been IC deleted, though Signless is welcome to have seen it before Sollux did that.

just tell him it's 0kay.
he d0esn't need t0 be anything he's n0t.

[Signless totally saw the first post before Sollux deleted it.]

I'LL TELL HIM THAT.

AND I'LL TELL YOU THAT TOO.

IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY, SOLLUX. I'VE KNOWN PSII LONGER THAN ANYONE, AND I KNOW HE ISN'T TRYING TO PUSH YOU AWAY. I KNOW THAT HE WANTS TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE, AND TO GET TO KNOW YOU. IF HE PUSHES YOU AWAY, IT'S BECAUSE HE CARES AND HE'S TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.

HE DOESN'T WANT YOU, OR ANYONE ELSE, TO END UP LIKE HIM.

i d0n't want t0 be like him, either.
n0t like THAT, anyway, n0t a helmsman.
but we might have 0ther things in c0mm0n, i th0ught.

but yeah, i fucked it up like usual, 0bvi0usly.

YOU DO.
YOU REMIND ME A GREAT DEAL OF HIM, ACTUALLY, WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER. YOU KNOW, WHEN WE FIRST MET, IT WAS LIKE I WAS LOOKING AT PSII THE WAY I FIRST SAW HIM. HE WASN'T MUCH OLDER THAN YOU WHEN WE MET.

BE PATIENT WITH HIM, SOLLUX. AND BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF. THIS ISN'T A FRIENDSHIP THAT CAN BE BUILT IN A DAY. IT'S GOING TO TAKE WORK, AND EFFORT, FROM BOTH PARTIES, BUT I CAN GUARANTEE YOU IT WILL BE SO, SO WORTH IT IN THE END.