043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

Comments

[Video]

[shippingmath]

He never brought it up, though I suppose it's a good enough time as any to mention that he's a friend.

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

I'm not surprised, and I also fail to give any fucks! I am fresh out, go home. He was my moirail's matesprit before you showed up, but that doesn't stop me.

[Video]

[shippingmath]

Congrats on your quadrant? What the fuck, like I'm gonna take sides just because you two are hatemacking.

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

What? That's not even what I meant. I thought you wanted me to change my mind about him or something, and I only said what I did to make the point that I'm not. Be his friend if you want and may your taste die unmourned. I haven't given up on other friends just because they like that steaming pile of horse guts.

[Video]

[shippingmath]

Then we're good. I couldn't give less of a fuck about how you deal with your dating.

So you're saying I'm a friend, is that it?

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

[Wait, did he--]

[Fuck.]

I didn't say that.

[Video]

[shippingmath]

Not directly, maybe.

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

I still didn't say it!

[Video]

[shippingmath]

But is it not true?

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

That--No. It's true. Somehow you have ensnared me with peculiar Striderish headgames into that peculiar disease of the emotions called "friendship". The particular machinations that led to this point are a mystery unto time, understood neither by human nor troll, nor any other sentient being with enough cells to rub together to spark intelligent thought.

Somewhere along the way the entire point of this conversation has been destroyed, caught in the derailment of this runaway friend trend into a crash of vaguely amiable feelings. Debris lies scattered around us. A have of "maybe this douchebag isn't completely awful" hangs in the air. Is it genuine sentiment, or smoke inhalation making me lightheaded enough to think things past me would balk to consider?

No one knows. I don't fucking know. Are you happy?

[Video]

[shippingmath]

Sounds about par for course. But, as a matter of fact, I am happy with it.

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

[Okay he's staring a bit.]

... You are?

[Video]

[shippingmath]

What, did you expect me to turn you down on your conclusion of friendship?

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

I'm not even sure what I expected.

[Friendship with Striders, how does it work. Past Karkat would be recoiling in horror.]

But fine. If you're happy, then good for you.