043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

Comments

video;

[symmetrophile]

You, too?

[What the hell, is Kid is a glutton for punishment, or what?]

It seems nearly everyone missing one of their belongings also received a gift from a mysterious benefactor. Furthermore... Maka, too, mentioned something that may imply that the two incidents are connected.

[That makes a few now who have come to an identical conclusion.]

You lost a... white crab?

video;

[bethehugejerk]

I wouldn't be surprised. That lobster had to get this ugly thing from somewhere.

[He must have set it down or put it in his sylladex, though, as it's not to be seen now.]

It wouldn't be the first time this place has messed up a holiday, either - though at least last Christmas we actually got worthwhile gifts.

And don't ask about the crab, alright? If you're not the one who has what I'm talking about, then the details patently do not matter in this conversation.

video;

[symmetrophile]

[Consider the matter of that crab-monster something to be promptly dropped, accompanying a gesture Kid makes, tapping his mouth with a finger. He won't ask further.]

Since last Christmas... how long have you been here, if you don't mind me asking?

video;

[420]

[Sorta squinting at the choker. Looks so familiar. :o|a]

I done seen that motherfuckin' thing before. I know I got.

video;

[bethehugejerk]

You have? And got what? Unless that's just another way of butchering spoken language for your own misguided entertainment.

video;

[420]

Have got seen it, I mean.

[Have you ever seen a clown ponder. It is a pitiful sight. Seriously though. It is like... at the tip of his pan. All vague and undefined but he knows it is there.]

Fuck.

[video]

[acebrotective]

[Horned thing with Yukari's necklace.

Okay, Vatheon.]

That's Yuka-tan's choker. Maybe she's got your--uh--crab.

[Junpei if you ever do anything decent at least once in your life, do not make a 'she has crabs' joke.]

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

Who the hell is Yukatan?

[Things Karkat does not need: lessons on human STDs.]

[video]

[acebrotective]

...[Ah, right, most people don't know his nickname for her offhand.] My bad, I mean Yukari. Yukari Takeba?

But yeah, that's her choker. You'll probably be seeing her soon enough.

[She's like a bloodhound when it comes to trouble.

Especially since he called it a piece of crap. Wow, dude, that's cold.]

Sooo...is this a bad time to ask what you're supposed to be?

[thekidsare0kay]

y0ur lu2u2 i2 here?

[TEXT, filtered]

[bethehugejerk]

[Whoops, time to filter.]

NO, MY LUSUS IS NOT ACTUALLY HERE, NUMBGLOBES.
AS YOU MAY HAVE FAILED TO NOTICE, OUR LUSII ARE ALL DEAD BECAUSE PAST ME WAS A DIPSHIT TOO STUBBORN TO LISTEN TO YOU.
IT'S A
SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO REMIND ME OF HIM, ALRIGHT, BIG FUCKING DEAL.

filtered video;

[tsundyne]

[Piece of crap. Her heart choker.

. . . Really, now.

Yukari's been waiting for this broadcast, but wow, she still finds herself gritting her teeth while she watches it. She's used to this kind of language from Gamzee, but this attitude is just a little too much.

Someone was bound to turn up with her choker -- and granted, she'd been close to making a broadcast herself, but why did it have to be someone like this?? She has to take a moment to compose herself before replying, even setting up a private filter as he requested.

. . . The first thing Karkat will see is the crab he so desperately seeks, followed by Yukari's unamused face.]

So then I take it this is yours? I don't suppose your name is "Sandy Claws."

[She holds it the same way he holds her choker: with disgust. And if her sarcasm wasn't totally obvious, she rolls her eyes a little, too.]

filtered video;

[bethehugejerk]

[Crabby attitude (harr, harr) is par for the course with Karkat, as Yukari may soon come to know. At the least, he hardly looks like the kind of guy who'd be glad to receive such an accessory. The toothy scowl on his face hardly points to "kind and considerate" either, and it only deepens to see how she holds his stuffed lusus. Things strangers were not meant to see: that, right there.]

Be glad I at least saved the thing for you. Yes, it's mine, and no, my name is not Sandy Claws.

[He rolls his eyes right back, more exaggerated.]

It's Karkat Vantas, not that I presume you give a shit. Just tell me where to meet you and I'll bring the stupid choker, safe, clean, and unharmed. You can't complain about that, can you?

[Not that she actually did verbally, but expressions and body language speak volumes.]

[crabbygenius]

A crab monster? What kind of crustacean are we talking about here?

[bethehugejerk]

It's not a literal monster here, idiot. It's a representation of one, which is not even your business if you don't have it. I know for a fact that you don't given the finder contacted me not long before this. Why do you care?

[Definitely a prickly attitude today.]

[Audio]

[knightime]

I think you'd look pretty fucking adorable with a little heart choker. The girls would be swooning all over you, although that's not really the same as wearing your heart on your sleeve.

How the fuck do you lose a crab monster though?

More importantly, how did they transport a fucking crab monster to someone without you realizing?

[Audio]

[bethehugejerk]

Ha, ha. I am dying of laughter. Tell me, how do you carry around the mass of your own ego without realizing how any possibility of an intelligent contribution is crushed under its immense girth?

It's not a literal monster, moron. That's what the thing looks like, and what the thing is is none of your business, just as it isn't the business of anyone else who's asked without having it.

[Video] Strider x2 Combo

[shippingmath]

Sounds you got the short end of the stick. At least they gave me a sword before I figured out whose it was. Talk about being unappreciative, though. Haven't you heard that you can't throw away a gift, Vantas?

[Video]

[bethehugejerk]

I'm not actually throwing it away because it belongs to someone else. But if it didn't? It would be gone by now, human standards of what I can or can't do aside, because who cares. Hint: not me.

Let me guess, you would actually wear the thing under the banner of quote-unquote "irony".

[Video]

[mothersunlight]

[White crab thing... that sounds familiar! Ammy holds up a paper with an inquiring word on it.]

Lusus?

[Video, filtered]

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat throws up a quick filter.]

Yeah, lusus. Nepeta made me a stuffed version of mine, and it went missing around the same time that Sandy Claws left that "gift" for me.

[He's looking away from the camera, a bit embarrassed to admit he had that, but Ammy should feel honored he did at all. Most (if the responses before give no hint) would not be given the full info.]

[video]

[unconchonable]

[And maybe Eridan looks a little grumpy at the sight of that choker.]

Watheon better not think it's funny sendin' a taken troll somethin' with that sorta symbol on it.

[Irrational? Yeah kinda, but whatever, he can be a irrationally jealous butthead if he wants to.]

Hopefully whoewer it belongs to will show the fuck up and take it already.

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

[Eridan, please.]

It's a stupid necklace that belongs to someone else and was given to be in misguided holiday fervor. I have learned whose it is, and I'm going to get it back to her, so calm the rumble spheres you don't actually have.

[Private - Audio]

[rebull]

Crab monster, hey?

[Private - Audio]

[bethehugejerk]

Please tell me you don't think I mean a literal one in this case. As I have told too many others by now, it's an object that resembles a crab monster. Which, no, I'm not telling you about, so don't even try.

[Pause.]

Been a while since I've heard from you.