043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

Comments

[crabbygenius]

You know, I really don't know. I was found as a baby.

[If he thought 5,000 years was a shocker, he should ask what her real age is.]

As for humans, they have the average lifespan of 60 plus years. It's the other races in the galaxy that can live several hundred and in some cases, thousands.

[bethehugejerk]

... Right. Good to know.

[So long as she's got no ill will against him, and she doesn't seem to so far.]

No shit they do. Don't ask for an average for trolls. To use your calendar, on the short end some of us only live around 35 to 50 years, give or take, and on the longer side, our empress has been around for more millennia than I know.

[crabbygenius]

Isn't it though?

[It takes a lot to actually get her angry, so he has nothing to worry about.]

Why is there such a difference in aging with your species?

[bethehugejerk]

[His expression hardens, mouth going flat.]

I'm going to say up front that I hate this subject, this subject is stupid, and if you want the full version, go pry it out of someone else.

The short version is that we're divided into different biological categories that determine things like lifespan, body temperature, the presence of psychic powers and resistance to them, and whether we live on land or in the sea.

[crabbygenius]

...The short version still leaves me with lots of questions. But, seeing as you hate the subject, I'll ask someone else.

[bethehugejerk]

Good, because you wouldn't get the long one even if you pried me for it.

[crabbygenius]

Good to know.