caughtinanetwork | 043 ♋ [VIDEO]

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043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

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[Karkat carefully sets down his SFC]

[raises him two middle fingers]

[and picks it back up.]

And humans couldn't accomplish an empire spanning the breadth of a galaxy. Badassitude isn't just failing to sit your ass down when someone uses a gun as a club.

[Karkat gets a little applause for the display.]

Well, we've managed a few Empires in our day. But none like the Trolls, I'll give you lot that. Not there was any life in the Planets around us for us to conquer and subjugate.

Shit argument, minus ten points. You couldn't make it past your own moon, and you haven't even terraformed it. The lack of life on other planets in your solar system is a moot point.

Edited 2013-02-02 22:40 (UTC)

Well, let's put that in context. We're only a few thousand years into human development, and we've got space capacity. The only reason we didn't get past that point is because the Game ended that. If it hadn't, there was the potential to reach the level of troll technology. We just weren't given the chance.

Go figure why the game picked that point. Obviously it waited for a point in our history where we were widely accomplished and established across the galaxy. Maybe that's the greatest height you ever would have reached on your earth.

[He does know a girl from another earth of greater space merit, but that's not really relevant here. Other earths have things like half-demons, and people that turn into literal weapons. It's hard to measure one by the accomplishments of another.]

Or it could be possible, but wasn't something that was conductive to the game's purpose for the human universe. Universes.

The point is, we're so far ahead of you you could not catch up if you tried.

Watch out, Vantas, I might take that as a challenge.

A challenge? How do you even intend to do that? Unless you can build a rocket and go establish a galaxy-wide human empire, you've got jack shit chance of catching up. And considering we can't even get past the barrier around the island, I am going to flat out tell you that 'jack shit chance' is indeed the case here, good job on your automatic failure.

Why the hell would I build a starship? There are other similar pieces of human and troll technology that are comparable.

[His eyebrows draw in.]

Then what do you even mean about a challenge?

I'm saying on my own I can build technology equivalent to that of trolls. You can ask Equius to judge, if you want.

Who cares about robots? You know I hate that guy, right? Because if not, I do, and you could not have picked a shittier method to try and impress me.

He never brought it up, though I suppose it's a good enough time as any to mention that he's a friend.

I'm not surprised, and I also fail to give any fucks! I am fresh out, go home. He was my moirail's matesprit before you showed up, but that doesn't stop me.

Congrats on your quadrant? What the fuck, like I'm gonna take sides just because you two are hatemacking.

What? That's not even what I meant. I thought you wanted me to change my mind about him or something, and I only said what I did to make the point that I'm not. Be his friend if you want and may your taste die unmourned. I haven't given up on other friends just because they like that steaming pile of horse guts.

Then we're good. I couldn't give less of a fuck about how you deal with your dating.

So you're saying I'm a friend, is that it?

[Wait, did he--]

[Fuck.]

I didn't say that.

Not directly, maybe.

I still didn't say it!

But is it not true?

That--No. It's true. Somehow you have ensnared me with peculiar Striderish headgames into that peculiar disease of the emotions called "friendship". The particular machinations that led to this point are a mystery unto time, understood neither by human nor troll, nor any other sentient being with enough cells to rub together to spark intelligent thought.

Somewhere along the way the entire point of this conversation has been destroyed, caught in the derailment of this runaway friend trend into a crash of vaguely amiable feelings. Debris lies scattered around us. A have of "maybe this douchebag isn't completely awful" hangs in the air. Is it genuine sentiment, or smoke inhalation making me lightheaded enough to think things past me would balk to consider?

No one knows. I don't fucking know. Are you happy?

Sounds about par for course. But, as a matter of fact, I am happy with it.

[Okay he's staring a bit.]

... You are?

[Video]

shippingmath - 2013-02-17 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

[Video]

bethehugejerk - 2013-02-17 20:26 (UTC) - Expand

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