043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

Comments

[Audio]

[bethehugejerk]

Ha, ha. I am dying of laughter. Tell me, how do you carry around the mass of your own ego without realizing how any possibility of an intelligent contribution is crushed under its immense girth?

It's not a literal monster, moron. That's what the thing looks like, and what the thing is is none of your business, just as it isn't the business of anyone else who's asked without having it.

[Audio]

[knightime]

Someone is in a shitty mood today, wow. Who pissed in your cereal, Christ.

But this is a public network post, so you should be prepared for everyone and their mom to ask you about it. Especially if you mention something that looks like a crab monster. People are curious. If someone just randomly asked about something that looks like a crab monster, wouldn't you want to know?

[Audio]

[bethehugejerk]

And how was I supposed to do this privately? I can't filter to whoever has the object if I don't know who that is, shitwit! So let's put it this way: Sandy Claws pissed in my cereal, and you all have to suffer the result. Get pissed at him if you've got a problem.

[He would be interested if someone mentioned a crab monster, but he doesn't say that. He doesn't particularly want to discuss his lusus with Dave.]

[Audio]

[knightime]

I didn't say you had to do it privately. I'm just saying you should have expected this. Shit, I'm so used to you being so much less cranky. This is like nostalgia lane slamming in faster than a porn star shoving his dick in.

Sandy Claws has been jacking everyone's shit, so it's not like you were the only one.