caughtinanetwork | 043 ♋ [VIDEO]

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043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

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Please tell me you don't think I mean a literal one in this case. As I have told too many others by now, it's an object that resembles a crab monster. Which, no, I'm not telling you about, so don't even try.

[Pause.]

Been a while since I've heard from you.

Well, you said it should look like one, so I assumed it wasn't actually one. Plus, if there was a crab monster, I uh, I think I'd know about it already. We'd probably even have an all right dynamic goin'.

Yeah, I uh, I've been missing in action.

I doubt that on the grounds that he was a hissing, screeching asshole who hated everything and made sure it was obvious.

Coma or just being busy with... whatever it is you do?

You never know, I've dealt with my fair share of assholes though, kinda uh, comes with the job.

Oh I, I was asleep, yeah. Catching up I guess. Didn't know they lasted that long though, I feel like I wasted a lot of time because of it.

Disagreed on account of "still not likely". I knew him, I was raised by him, and if he were the friendly type, I would have known it by now.

Good luck with that, though. Someone more in your circle of people could tell you more than I can. And I'll definitely count myself lucky that the time it happened to me, I wasn't even out a whole month. I mean, what was it for you? A couple?

Yeah, and I have a way with lusii, guess we just can't know for sure now.

Yeah uh, it was two, or so I've been told. Didn't know they could keep you out that long.

Considering these are the oozing fungal infections that kidnapped us out of our universes to subject us to curses ranging from "minor inconvenience" to "gouge out my gander bulbs with a rusty spoon", a two-month coma is really not a surprise. It is mild on the scale of weird shit they can do, and I supremely doubt after all else that they care how frustrating it is to wake up with missing time.

Seems odd though, I mean, considering they're pretty much keeping us here to mess with us and watch us. Kinda a waste to stick us in a coma. Maybe I was just getting too surly and a sleep is easier than chains. [A sigh, pausing for a moment.] Not that this bubbles anything better than chains anyway, guess a cage still lets ya move around a little.

I'm not going to say I know why they do it, because that part I have no clue about. Like, even with the other info that's been found on the scientists and how things are run, I don't think I've seen or heard of an explanation for those. Which is all the more annoying, but I'm just glad they don't do any real damage. No memory loss, no weird curse shenanigans. Just annoying.

You seem to still age while you're asleep though. Hair growth and that, and you still need to be washed too, no dreams though. One hell of a rest if they can block out a troll's dreams.

Okay, there's that, but at least you can be sure they'll be the same troll mentally when they wake up. No memory jostling, no new stuff from the other universe to reconcile with everything, no other screwing with behavior like some of the curses do. It's not perfect and I sure as hell prefer them not to happen, but I am still marking it firmly as "least bad" and "not as much of a pain in the ass as it could be."

I guess that means something, if they didn't constantly mess with who we are on a regular basis with these curses. Makes me wonder if they uh, have the power to really mess you up permanently. I mean, I'd rather a nice sleep, but it still makes me worry something might be up with it. Seems a bit too-

Quiet, for it not to. Definitely seems like one of the least worrisome things though, I agree with you there. Though uh, I'm recalling a classic saying, too good to be true, which is why I have some doubts, I guess.

Ugh, yeah. Nothing bad has come of it before that I know if, which is why I've been unconcerned, but I can't deny those nooksuckers like to pull the floor covering out from under us just to see us squirm.

If there is something up with it, I imagine we'll find out sooner or later, and it will be predictably awful when we do. Hopefully we'll, I don't know, wring it out of the scientists or find the info somewhere on what they're actually for before that happens.

Have the scientists been known to disclose any info? I uh, I haven't much taken an interest in that, but since we're talking about it, and you're a good person to ask, figured I've give it a shot, heh.

Carol clarified some stuff for me the first time I spoke to her, so I'd say she's the most likely bet if you want to grill her. If you don't get anything, though, I won't be surprised - she acted like she was giving even that much at risk to herself.

A risk. Huh. [A pause.]

Y'know, none of the animals don't have an idea about what's going on here either. Risks. [A bitter laugh.]

Least back home I knew what the heck they were. Here's it's- different. Guess they at least pretend like it's all okay, makes it easier for most of us.

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