Karkat Vantas ♋ carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bethehugejerk) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caughtinanetwork2013-07-26 11:02 am
bethehugejerk) wrote in caughtinanetwork2013-07-26 11:02 am
046 ♋ [TEXT]
WHAT FOUL AND MERCILESS ENTITY ROLLED OUT OF THE SPECIES APPROPRIATE SLUMBER APPARATUS AND DECIDED TO INVENT TIME
WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS, DID THIS ASSHOLE INSTILL INTO LIVING BEINGS THE CONCEPT OF THINGS HAPPENING BEFORE AND AFTER EACH OTHER
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE AFFLICTED WITH THIS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING TIME PLAYER.
WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS STABLE TIME LOOPS HOLDING THE SHODDY STICKS AND TWINE OF OUR TIMELINE TOGETHER?
WHAT ABOUT THE FLUX OF PEOPLE BACK AND FORTH FROM DIFFERENT SPOTS ALONG THAT LINE LIKE BACKWASH FROM AN ILL-CLEANED MOUTH INTO A SOULMELTING BOTTLE OF FAYGO???
WELL I GUESS THE FUCK NOT, BECAUSE HERE I AM BEING FORCED TO DEAL WITH OVER FIVE YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES LAID OVER THE TOP OF EACH OTHER LIKE PARADOX SPACE DECIDED TO MAKE A PARTICULARLY AWFUL SANDWICH OUT OF THEM.
SAID SANDWICH HAS THEN BEEN FORCE FED DIRECTLY INTO MY THINK PAN
I AM OVERSTUFFED WITH RECOLLECTION AND REMEMBRANCE
MY BRAIN WOULD VOMIT IF IT WERE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. CONTEMPLATE THAT FOR A MINUTE.
OR HOWEVER LONG, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE UNITS, AND NONE OF IT WILL APPROXIMATE THE SCREAMING HEADACHE CURRENTLY DECIMATING MY CRANIAL UNIT.
COULD I NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS IN EASILY DIGESTED PIECES
WOULD THAT BE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO.
SURE, SEND ME BACK A COUPLE HOURS THAT FIRST TIME, BUT NO! YOU SCIENTIST NOOKMONGERS JUST *HAD* TO GIVE ME THE FULL THREE YEARS.
WHO CARES THAT I WAS ALREADY 15 AND A HALF IN EARTH YEARS, I OBVIOUSLY NEEDED THE SQUALID, STULTIFYING EXPERIENCE OF LIVING SOME OF THEM TWICE! PLUS AN EXTRA FEW MONTHS!!
SO UNTIL MY SPONGE STOPS TRYING TO CANNIBALIZE ITSELF (ETA: NOT FUCKING SOON ENOUGH), DO NOT EXPECT COHERENCY FROM ME
BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN SORT OUT THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "YESTERDAY" FROM THE FESTERING REMAINS OF MY OWN THOUGHT ORGAN.
YESTERDAY MEANS TOO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW.
YESTERDAY CAN FRANKLY GO FUCK ITSELF TWICE IN A BRAND NEW ORIFICE I'VE JUST INVENTED FOR IT.
ALL I KNOW IS THE LESS I SEE OF POSSESSED PSYCHOPATHS AND THEIR WEAPONIZED CUTLERY, THE BETTER.
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED SINCE I DISAPPEARED AND WHO'S HERE, BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN CARE TO CHECK THE LIST RIGHT NOW.
WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS, DID THIS ASSHOLE INSTILL INTO LIVING BEINGS THE CONCEPT OF THINGS HAPPENING BEFORE AND AFTER EACH OTHER
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE AFFLICTED WITH THIS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING TIME PLAYER.
WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS STABLE TIME LOOPS HOLDING THE SHODDY STICKS AND TWINE OF OUR TIMELINE TOGETHER?
WHAT ABOUT THE FLUX OF PEOPLE BACK AND FORTH FROM DIFFERENT SPOTS ALONG THAT LINE LIKE BACKWASH FROM AN ILL-CLEANED MOUTH INTO A SOULMELTING BOTTLE OF FAYGO???
WELL I GUESS THE FUCK NOT, BECAUSE HERE I AM BEING FORCED TO DEAL WITH OVER FIVE YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES LAID OVER THE TOP OF EACH OTHER LIKE PARADOX SPACE DECIDED TO MAKE A PARTICULARLY AWFUL SANDWICH OUT OF THEM.
SAID SANDWICH HAS THEN BEEN FORCE FED DIRECTLY INTO MY THINK PAN
I AM OVERSTUFFED WITH RECOLLECTION AND REMEMBRANCE
MY BRAIN WOULD VOMIT IF IT WERE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. CONTEMPLATE THAT FOR A MINUTE.
OR HOWEVER LONG, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE UNITS, AND NONE OF IT WILL APPROXIMATE THE SCREAMING HEADACHE CURRENTLY DECIMATING MY CRANIAL UNIT.
COULD I NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS IN EASILY DIGESTED PIECES
WOULD THAT BE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO.
SURE, SEND ME BACK A COUPLE HOURS THAT FIRST TIME, BUT NO! YOU SCIENTIST NOOKMONGERS JUST *HAD* TO GIVE ME THE FULL THREE YEARS.
WHO CARES THAT I WAS ALREADY 15 AND A HALF IN EARTH YEARS, I OBVIOUSLY NEEDED THE SQUALID, STULTIFYING EXPERIENCE OF LIVING SOME OF THEM TWICE! PLUS AN EXTRA FEW MONTHS!!
SO UNTIL MY SPONGE STOPS TRYING TO CANNIBALIZE ITSELF (ETA: NOT FUCKING SOON ENOUGH), DO NOT EXPECT COHERENCY FROM ME
BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN SORT OUT THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "YESTERDAY" FROM THE FESTERING REMAINS OF MY OWN THOUGHT ORGAN.
YESTERDAY MEANS TOO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW.
YESTERDAY CAN FRANKLY GO FUCK ITSELF TWICE IN A BRAND NEW ORIFICE I'VE JUST INVENTED FOR IT.
ALL I KNOW IS THE LESS I SEE OF POSSESSED PSYCHOPATHS AND THEIR WEAPONIZED CUTLERY, THE BETTER.
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED SINCE I DISAPPEARED AND WHO'S HERE, BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN CARE TO CHECK THE LIST RIGHT NOW.
no subject
brb
[And a few seconds later, the camera flicks on. Hi, Karkat! Here is Jade, looking very much not grimbark and actually very concerned about the state of a friend than evil.]
Are you okay, Karkat? What did I do to you?
[Learning about what her evil self is doing via other people isn't that nice, but how else is she going to make up for it if she doesn't know.]
no subject
YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING *TO* ME, AT LEAST NOT DIRECTLY.
BUT APPARENTLY YOU AND...
WHAT'S THAT CHICK FROM THE OTHER SESSION? SHORT, BLACK HAIR?
BOTH OF YOU GOT POSSESSED BY HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION AS TOOLS OF SOME NEW EFFORT TO START UP LIFE ON THE EARTH FROM THAT SESSION
WHICH YOU SOMEHOW OBTAINED THROUGH FREAKY WITCH POWERS.
APPARENTLY IN THIS ARRANGEMENT KANAYA AND ME WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TALK TO YOUR DENIZEN BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR FREAKY BULLSHIT, THEN START THE GENESIS FROG ON ITS JOURNEY TO SKAIA
WHICH, FUCK THAT, BECAUSE I AM NOT UP FOR PLAYING HAPPY LITTLE SLAVE TO THE EMPIRE EVEN IF IT DID HAVE INCIDENTAL INVOLVEMENT TO WHAT THE REST OF US WANTED TO DO.
BUT THAT OTHER CHICK YOU WERE USING AS SOME KIND OF THREAT, I GUESS
AND LONG STORY SHORT, SHE IMPALED ME ON HER FORK, LIFE MAGICKED ME BACK FROM THE DEAD, AND THEN YOU DISAPPEARED AFTER JOHN WHO WAS SUDDENLY THERE FOR ALL OF HALF A MINUTE FOR SOME REASON.
I DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
no subject
Jesus...the other girl from the session is Jane Crocker, she's my ectomother technically.
[She winces--technically the Condesce is her mother in Jane's session, as well as Jane's grandmother. There's a sick sort of poetry in the girls of the Crocker family working together.
I am not a Crocker.]
I know it doesn't mean shit right now, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all of that, even if I don't know what the fuck is going on and presumably I don't actually know what's going on under the possession of the batterwitch either. I shouldn't be apologizing for something my future self did, but I am anyway. Goddamn, this is stupid!
[It's stupid and it's mixing her up and ugh, she has a migraine and is in severe need of hugs.
But this isn't about her, Karkat is the one that was in peril.]
...When it's okay to see you again, I am going to bring you a whole bunch of nice things. [Nice things make everybody happy!]
no subject
AND YOU'RE RIGHT THAT THE APOLOGY DOESN'T MEAN SHIT WHEN YOU AREN'T THE VERSION OF YOURSELF RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT WENT DOWN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU ENDED UP POSSESSED BY HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT IF THE EMPRESS EVER SHOWS UP HERE, YOU ARE UNDER STRICT LEADERLY ORDERS TO AVOID HER AT ALL COSTS.
I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE NOT ON MY ACTUAL TEAM, I'M GIVING THEM ANYWAY FOR BASICALLY THE GOOD OF EVERYONE EVER.
AS FOR SEEING ME
I HAVE NOT THE FAINTEST FUCKING CLUE WHEN THAT WILL BE, BUT I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
no subject
[A beat.]
You should bear in mind that I might not have a choice in that matter. She's very powerful. Crazy fucking witch, but powerful.
[At him saying he doesn't know when it will be all right for her to see him, she frowns...but respects it. Surely if she had just seen a friend doing evil things, she would have a hard time interacting with them as well.]
...Welcome home, Karkat.
no subject
I'M THE ONE WHO GREW UP IN HER ACTUAL EMPIRE, HARLEY.
I AM TELLING YOU TO AVOID HER ANYWAY ON THE OFF CHANCE IT ACTUALLY DOES ANY GOOD, WHICH IS BETTER THAN TAKING NO EFFORTS AT ALL.
I'LL SEE IF THIS PLACE FEELS LIKE HOME AGAIN WHEN MY HEAD SETTLES.