caughtinanetwork | 046 ♋ [TEXT]

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046 ♋ [TEXT]

WHAT FOUL AND MERCILESS ENTITY ROLLED OUT OF THE SPECIES APPROPRIATE SLUMBER APPARATUS AND DECIDED TO INVENT TIME
WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS, DID THIS ASSHOLE INSTILL INTO LIVING BEINGS THE CONCEPT OF THINGS HAPPENING BEFORE AND AFTER EACH OTHER
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE AFFLICTED WITH THIS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING TIME PLAYER.
WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS STABLE TIME LOOPS HOLDING THE SHODDY STICKS AND TWINE OF OUR TIMELINE TOGETHER?
WHAT ABOUT THE FLUX OF PEOPLE BACK AND FORTH FROM DIFFERENT SPOTS ALONG THAT LINE LIKE BACKWASH FROM AN ILL-CLEANED MOUTH INTO A SOULMELTING BOTTLE OF FAYGO???
WELL I GUESS THE FUCK NOT, BECAUSE HERE I AM BEING FORCED TO DEAL WITH OVER FIVE YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES LAID OVER THE TOP OF EACH OTHER LIKE PARADOX SPACE DECIDED TO MAKE A PARTICULARLY AWFUL SANDWICH OUT OF THEM.
SAID SANDWICH HAS THEN BEEN FORCE FED DIRECTLY INTO MY THINK PAN
I AM OVERSTUFFED WITH RECOLLECTION AND REMEMBRANCE
MY BRAIN WOULD VOMIT IF IT WERE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. CONTEMPLATE THAT FOR A MINUTE.
OR HOWEVER LONG, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE UNITS, AND NONE OF IT WILL APPROXIMATE THE SCREAMING HEADACHE CURRENTLY DECIMATING MY CRANIAL UNIT.
COULD I NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS IN EASILY DIGESTED PIECES
WOULD THAT BE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO.
SURE, SEND ME BACK A COUPLE HOURS THAT FIRST TIME, BUT NO! YOU SCIENTIST NOOKMONGERS JUST *HAD* TO GIVE ME THE FULL THREE YEARS.
WHO CARES THAT I WAS ALREADY 15 AND A HALF IN EARTH YEARS, I OBVIOUSLY NEEDED THE SQUALID, STULTIFYING EXPERIENCE OF LIVING SOME OF THEM TWICE! PLUS AN EXTRA FEW MONTHS!!
SO UNTIL MY SPONGE STOPS TRYING TO CANNIBALIZE ITSELF (ETA: NOT FUCKING SOON ENOUGH), DO NOT EXPECT COHERENCY FROM ME
BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN SORT OUT THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "YESTERDAY" FROM THE FESTERING REMAINS OF MY OWN THOUGHT ORGAN.
YESTERDAY MEANS TOO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW.
YESTERDAY CAN FRANKLY GO FUCK ITSELF TWICE IN A BRAND NEW ORIFICE I'VE JUST INVENTED FOR IT.
ALL I KNOW IS THE LESS I SEE OF POSSESSED PSYCHOPATHS AND THEIR WEAPONIZED CUTLERY, THE BETTER.
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED SINCE I DISAPPEARED AND WHO'S HERE, BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN CARE TO CHECK THE LIST RIGHT NOW.

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[Again Karkat quiets and listens. He's already this worn out; after that expelling of air and aggravation, and Eridan more or less getting the point, he can't hold onto the feeling.]

It's just the jumbled kind of feeling I don't imagine you can really get without feeling it.

[He's not even arguing, really. But now he's frowning, different than before, eyebrows drawn in at the middle.]

I'm not going to kick you out of the hive just for my sake. I'm not going to lie and say it's not you, because yeah, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with you right now. But it's still your hive.

[His hand comes up to rub along the side of his face.]

I'm not sure I want to be alone, either? I don't want to have to deal with all this complicated feelings drama more, but I've missed having my friends actually care and want me around, too.

[Yep. Yep that really is getting him in the blood pusher, seeing him like this, hearing him talk like this. He's such a mess, and Eridan is helpless to actually do anything about it. He clenches his fists, all in an attempt to keep his arms from instinctively raising and enveloping Karkat in a hug.]

... Well, we can both go back there, I guess. I'll giwe you whatewer space you need, alright? That way neither of us lose our hiwe, but you won't be alone or smothered?

[He's really trying here, Karkat. Even if it's not what he wants, even if it kinda hurts.]

We can just... put this all on hold for now, if that will help you.

[He really doesn't even want to say that, but he's convinced it will hurt less if he's the one suggesting it. It really doesn't, though.]

[Of all the reactions to have, Eridan's compromise, understanding, and that last offer - made from him, without Karkat having to say it himself! - about makes him want to give him a hug. His arms raise partway and he steps forward, but that's when he catches himself. His arms lower.]

[His eyes squeeze shut and he sighs again - at himself.]

Yeah--Yeah, we can try that. If it's too uncomfortable at the hive, I'll leave and let you have it. Putting stuff on hold would help.

[He looks up again.]

Sorry I'm such a mess.

[His fins rise with hope as he sees Karkat's arms rise--but then he lowers them, and so too does his fins. He gives a half nod.]

Sure, don't feel like you gotta stay an' all that.

[A beat.]

Don't apologize, it ain't your fault.

[Karkat knows those fins by now. To see their rise and fall pings him with guilt.]

[After a moment of not knowing what to do with his hands, he gives a half-hearted "let's go" wave and starts walking. Both hands stuff into his pockets.]

Just take the apology. I feel like an ass, and I don't give them out that often anyhow.

[Perhaps Eridan was hoping one of those hadns would find their way into his own, but by now he knows he's gotta give up hoping like that, because that just isn't going to happen right now... Or for a long while. He nods and starts to follow him.]

Alright, fine, I'll cherish your apology for bein' the rare thing that it is.

[He lets a few moments go by, but it feels kinda uncomfortable. Gotta break the silence somehow...]

So, uh... What was that about me in... skirts, was it?

[Nailed it. Yeah, he definitely didn't miss that part of Karkat's rambling, there was just more important things at the time.]

[Karkat walks in silence for as long as Eridan holds it. He doesn't know what to say, much less like he could chat regularly after such heavy conversation, even if it did go comparatively easy to things with Gamzee. At least he doesn't have to deal with bitterness souring things.]

[It would therefore be unexpected just for Eridan to speak up, but about that? Karkat stops in his tracks.]

Of all the things--

[He shakes his head, starts walking again.]

You tell me, dude. You're the one who kept showing up here and there with the plaid and the tube top and everything. That's not even the only weird thing I saw in the dream bubbles, and if I tried to get answers for it all, my sanity would creep out my ear and flee to the furthest reaches of space, off to the black behind the stars, beyond sight, sound, and knowledge, forever.

Hey, it ain't my fault you spewed that information at me durin' a inopportune time an' all. But, I can't tell you anythin' seein' as that ain't a habit I'we made mine since ewer. I mean, there was...

[He trails off, but then shakes his head.]

--Anyway, I dunno, that's fuckin' weird, but then again, alternate me's made alternate decisions, I guess, ain't a true-like reflection onto myself or anythin'.

[Not that... he's really against skirt-wearing, but whatever. Totally not important, especially not now.]

It came up with the point I was making at the time, alright?

[He can't control what he recalls all at once! Not yet anyway. And even so, that was pretty noteworthy.]

And there was what? Don't trail off on me. You brought it up again; you are not playing the cagey secretive route.

I don't see why that detail mattered, but alright.

[Damnit Karkat, don't ask him these things!]

Just, there might hawe been a time I... wore a skirt... though not of my own wolition, alright? So it like, doesn't ewen matter or anything, not ewen that big of a deal really.

I thought of you and it came up! Cut me some slack.

[He wasn't trying to think about that part. But too bad, Eridan: Karkat's looking right at you now.]

When was that, and what do you mean, not your own volition? I got hit with that dumb fairy dress the one time, but I'm not the one who had crossdressing alternate selves running around.

Fine, fine.

[HE AIN'T LOOKING AT YOU KARKAT.]

I uh... it was when I killed Thalassino... She did somethin', put me in a skirt, it's a long story.

Thala...

[He scratches a hand through his hair, scattering sand particles.]

Refresh me. We aren't even in the actual bubble yet; you can give me the long story.

[Augh Karkat whyyyy he doesn't wanna get into details, it's far less heroic and awesome when he goes into this shit.]

She was kinda in on the whole Watheon project, like the curses and what not? She was tryin' to sabotage it all though, tryin' force us to go back to our respectiwe worlds, so I put a stop to that and took her out. But before I could do that, she had to fuck with my group and I and humiliate me.

[He folds his arms, shoulders hunching a bit as he walks.]

She switched our powers, which put me in this ugly fuckin' get up, which consisted some short skirt which left nothin' to the imagination. It was linked to the powers of one of the others, I don't know why exactly. But after a bit of fightin', I finally regained my powers back, as well as my clothes and put a end to her bullshit.

[He huffs.]

So... there ya hawe it, my recount of non-consensual crossdressin'.

[Yeah, he's a little purple from explaining that, because lets be real here, that's hardly something to be proud of.]

[That's who she was. Karkat has to stop a moment as things flood back - Thalassino and Vatheon bring up memories from all across his time here - but the reminder is solid, and brings him to understanding. He resumes his pace again, rubbing at a temple as Eridan explains the relevant part.]

Okay, that I will buy, since Thalassino was a secretive, lying piece of shit and we're probably all better for her absence. Of course she'd fuck with you guys, so why not add garment-based embarrassment on top of swapped powers? You're obviously not the first.

[He shakes his head. Fairy tale week was only worth it for the wings, and just barely.]

That still doesn't answer why those other yous had such an affinity for it, though. Is there something you're not telling me?

Uh...

[He flicks his eyes to Karkat, and then away, not returning to look at him again. He allows a relatively long pause before:]

Nooo?

[For the first time since shoving him, Karkat touches Eridan--]

[--which is to say, he aims a light shove at his shoulder.]

Stop lying, doofus, you know you're shit at it.

[As odd as it may sound, despite it being a shove, the contact is appreciated. In fact, it's reminiscent of how things were before Karkat left. However, Eridan is just going to throw up a front, huffing and flaring his fins a bit, ignore how they're kinda tinged with purple, and how he's trying to hide his face which is also purple.]

I ain't! I mean, I dunno... It was humiliatin', that time I mean, but... I guess maybe with the right clothes...

[WHY ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT THIS ERIDAN JUST WANTS TO DIE]

[Karkat rolls his eyes at the display of dramatics. He knows you're blushing, Eridan. Trying to hide it won't save you now. The answer itself does draw a raised eyebrow, but--]

You know what? I am not even surprised. Set aside however many versions of you were wandering around in that getup, even, and you are still top spot for "Which guy on my team would be most likely to crossdress?" You're like one of those fish with the big fins, I don't know what they're called, and the more frills you have to fan out the better. Trade a cape for a skirt and it's as good as the same!

Whatever the hell you do on that front, I offer you one warning: pick something gaudy and I will both kick you out of the hive and complain to Kanaya.

No I'm not a fuckin' crossdresser! Giwe me some credit--I mean, sure those other mes may hawe had a affinity for that sorta thing, but I'm just meanin' if it came down to the situation where I'd be dressed in those types a clothes, dependin' on the style I wouldn't be AS upset about it as I could be! That's IT! I like wouldn't ewer seek to dress that way of my own accord... Probably.

[Of course through that whole thing he's got dramatic hand gestures going, even his fins are flaring a bit.]

[Karkat aims another touch for his shoulder: a prod.]

Do I seriously need to call you out a second time on your completely nonexistent ability to lie convincingly? Even the inanimate objects in our passing vicinity can tell you're full of it.

Second off, wearing those clothes is the definition of crossdressing, hence crossdresser, in the hypothetical event that it were to happen. And if you did? Who fucking cares! It's not something I'd ever do, but I don't wear tight pants or capes or ugly shoes, either. I have seen other yous do it, and I said I would not be surprised, so spare me the nervous oh-I-would-newer fakery.

[Yes, he just did the accent there.]

The only thing I told you to do there is not look like you swapped any and all sense of taste as payment for the clothes you get to do it.

[He stays silent, hardly even acknowledging the prod. As much as gender roles and silly social shit like that was hardly a thing on Alternia, this still is kinda weird, and Eridan's not exactly sure how to feel about it. At least Karkat seems alright with it, that's a plus, because honestly, Eridan might have been worried something like this would weird Karkat out.]

[He does shoot a glare at Karkat for that butchering of his accent though!]

Okay, fine. Whatewer! Let's just change the bloody subject. How about you catch me up with what happened when you went back an' all? I think that's a much better topic.

[It isn't so much being open-minded as much as it is the acceptance of how weird his friends are. He's seen worse, too. At least Eridan doesn't think he's a horse. Or a human. Or wear footie pajamas.]

[He ignores the glare.]

Fine, fine. Give me pauses when I need them; some of this is fresher than other parts, but it's still jumbled up with everything else.

[He takes a breath, then thinks back. At least it's easy enough to recall where to start.]

Alright, you know how I'd just become moirails with Gamzee and everything that first time I went back, right? That's not long before John set off the Scratch. So basically this time we just had to wait for the beacon that would supposedly mark the explosion of the Green Sun, which is technically what happened in that the explosion was the moment of its creation. Not that we new that until we got there and met up with--

Shit, I'm jumping ahead. When we did see the green light, Sollux shot us off that way with his psionics. And, well, he burned himself out with it and... half-died? I still don't understand how that works, whatever, but when we got to the Green Sun we met up with his half-ghost along with Aradia, Dave, and Rose, the latter three all freshly minted god tiers. Cue absolutely everyone making idiots of themselves, an instant jump to the flirting like that was their one singular chance to get a shot at sloppy interspecies makeouts, Sollux deciding to stay behind in the dream bubbles like an ass, then him and Aradia giving the meteor a push to send us the way Rose's mystical mumbo jumbo seer powers said would get us to the new session.

--Oh, and the Mayor's corpse showed up at one point? It just kind of popped out of nowhere, I still don't know what's up with that. For the record the Mayor is a Dersite, and he's totally awesome, the end.

[He is not even kidding. He does fall silent a moment though, thinking as he walks.]

Okay. So in addition to the Mayor's body, that left Terezi, Gamzee, Kanaya, Rose, Dave, and me on the meteor. We kind of took our own spaces, that area with the computers got converted into a common area with a bunch of rugs and tables and shit, and we more or less got used to the idea that we'd be stuck together for the next three years. Dreams put us in the dream bubbles, and our meteor started physically passing through them eventually, meaning a lot of encounters with a lot of dead versions of everyone.

That's how the Mayor stopped being dead, by the way. You and Feferi showed up from some timeline where you hit god tier together, Feferi revived him, and he went on to set up Can Town.

Others--let's see... We didn't meet any dancestors until like a year in, but we gradually met more and learned how without question they were godawful douchebags locked into eons worth of unending teenage drama. Meenah was pretty alright, though.

But god, the fucking drama--there was absolutely no escape from that shit. I practically made a gargantuan, true-to-life ass sculpture of myself with how badly I fucked up with Terezi. Instead she and Dave wound up dating for a while, and then she hooked up black with Gamzee, which for some reason they thought they had to hide from me, which is really kind of insulting when it wasn't that hard to pick up on. Terezi... Terezi basically wound up a mess. I mean, today I found her passed out in her own sticky red pop drool, no pants on, learned she is quote-unquote "down with the clown" and her whole relationship with Gamzee is a mess. She actually had Vriska's windbag dancestor heal her eyes for her because of him! Can you believe that?

[He shakes his head, sighing.]

I already mentioned how Gamzee broke up with me. He just kept shoving his head further and further up his ass about his fake fucking clown religion, getting more self-righteous and secretive with whatever he was up to in the vents, and yeah. It wasn't really going anywhere, so I guess it was for the best, but... Whatever.

Oh, and Dave broke up with Terezi eventually, too. Humans, quadrants, they don't mix.

But with all that going on over the years, things just kind of deteriorated and people got so absorbed in their own shit that I basically only had Dave and the Mayor to rely on. I saw dead friends in the dream bubbles and everything, but with so many going around and no idea when I'd meet up with who, it wasn't really the same, you know? Dave's seriously been my best friend for a while.

Anyway, end of three years, Skaia's visible from the meteor, and almost no one's ready to actually arrive. Cue some talking, that thing with Terezi I mentioned, and eventually Kanaya and Rose haul themselves out of whatever corridor they were in. Before we can figure out how the hell we're going to stop, which I had no fucking clue about, Jade shows up possessed and teleports us to some green planet with a bunch of red rocks on it. And John was there? Then, I don't fucking know how and I'm not the only one who got hit with amnesia, we got scattered across the other planets. Kanaya and I wound up on Jade's land from her session, and she shows up again explaining how the Empress wants us to go talk to Jade's denizen and send the genesis frog on its trip to Skaia, which is a fat ass load of hoofbeast shit that reeked so bad I'm positive its stench could be smelled session-wide.

Jane was there too, also possessed, more stoic than Striders at their worse until Jade had her demonstrate her life powers by running me through with a giant fucking fork just so she can revive me. I mean--I don't know what to say, that was fucked up. And John was there suddenly? Don't ask, I don't know, but he and Jade disappear right after that, leaving Kanaya and me with psycho-Jane. But before we could figure out what to do about that or how--

Jegus, how did I forget? Okay, obviously Jack's still a threat, and we're going to have to fight him somehow eventually. But there's also Lord English, this other demon set on blowing up the dream bubbles and killing off dead selves in some weird, final double death. Meenah was trying to gather up people for her army to face him, and at one point I said I'd join up with her if our meteor physically intersected the right dream bubble and she still had no recruits, but nothing really came of that. So, Jack and him are problems, plus this bullshit Her Imperious Condescension is up to with wanting to start new life on the earth from the new session, which Jade stole with her space with powers, and it is a goddamn mess that I don't look forward to going back to too soon.

If there's anything else I forgot, too bad, it'll have to come up later.

[Holy shit, how could he ever forget how much of a fucking windbag his boyfriend is. He listens closely, trying to take in all the information he can, but god that is a lot to take in. So forgive him if he kinda misses a few spots. He seems pretty unmoved by the details, most of it just information about what's going on, yadda yadda--but then when Karkat goes on to say he was run through by a fork, and died Eridan whips his head to look at him, his expression one of concern. Sure, Karkat got brought back, but still. Who the hell wants to hear that their matesprit got skewered? Not a troll in his right fucking state of mind, that's for damn sure. He nearly, instinctively, puts his arms around him, but they stop halfway through their ascent, falling uselessly at his sides again. Instead, he forces himself to look forward again. He hardly wants to make this awkward for Karkat, after all.]

[And once Karkat's done...]

Wait so, ewen our dead selwes are at risk?

[For all Eridan doesn't like the fact he's dead, that doesn't mean he's okay with that. He still exists, even if as a ghost! But he could very well cease to exist entirely. Okay, that's definitely a thought that forces his stomach to knot.]

An' it's alright, I don't think I could take in any more, that was quite the fuckin' info dump. If I ewer request you to lay details on me about our situation again, just slap me instead.

[Karkat is absorbed enough in the remembering and telling of his story that he doesn't notice the raise of Eridan's arms so much. For all it makes sense that Eridan would want to hug him for it, he didn't mention the death for the sake of pity. He's hardly torn up by it.]

[~~Just skewered.~~]

[He looks back at Eridan once he speaks.]

Yeah, that's what I said. It doesn't really make sense, but I have long since given up on anything about the game and all its tied in reality making any sense at all.

No complaining if I do have to slap you for that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

046 ♋ [TEXT]

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[action] wrong account, don't care

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