Video || They Call Me Doctor Love

[chosen_gigolo]

[Cue Zelos, sitting on the end of his large bed, a vase of roses to his right on the nightstand and a candle burning behind to his left.]
 
So, ladies and gentlemen of Vatheon, it has come to my attention due to the upswing of network posts having to do with romance that a lot of you are in the need of advice; maybe a guiding hand in your love lives from someone with more experience with the fairer sex, or at a loss for what your man expects during this time of year. 

[He sits back a bit, steepling his fingers with a grin at the camera.] 

Fear not Vatheonites! You've got none other than the Great Zelos Wilder here to dole out advice on anything and everything pertaining to the romantic arts~❤ Don't worry hunnys, your secrets are safe with me~ All comments are filtered so no one'll be the wiser.

[He winks seductively into the feed.]

Don't be shy~ With a little help from me, this could be your best valentine's ever.

[And now to wait for the responses of those seeking his expertise.]

Comments

[video]

[rainbowarch]

[HELLO ZELOS. HERE IS SOMEONE SEEKING YOUR EXPERTISE.

Cielo looks thoughtful for a few seconds and then...]

...What's romance?

[...probably not the kind of question Zelos was expecting.]

[video]

[chosen_gigolo]

[Actually this is something he'd been expecting considering the naïvity of many he's come across here.]

Romance is when you have a desire for someone, to be nice to them or to hold them close~ To want them to notice you in the same way. You may even want to be intimate, kissing and hugging and maybe more♥

Video.

[and_yellow]

[What the... ... ...]

Yikes.

Not an actual response

[chosen_gigolo]

["Yikes"? If you don't need advice dude, then just don't say anything at all! Zelos ignores this one.]

[video]

[seablaze]

[Staring.




Snort. Pfffffft. Laughing now.]

[video]

[chosen_gigolo]

Is that really necessary?

[giant_talking_egg]

I'll be spending my Valentine's day the same way as I do every year. Using my time for research. I'm far too old for that kind of thing.

[chosen_gigolo]

[By the look of this guy, that wasn't a decision by choice! But unless he's gonna ask for help, Zelos isn't horribly inclined to give it.]

Yeah, have fun with that, man.

[video] - Just because this is what creeps him out in several ways...

[red_medic]

[You get exactly this look for several endless moments. Followed by a hand reaching for the device that... Cuts this feed.]

Reaction, no video - oh dear...

[chosen_gigolo]

[What the hell was that, exactly?!]

[zelda_hylia]

[Oh GODDESSES Zelos she can't believe she lives with you. You are the most embarrassing housemate ever.]

[Action]

[chosen_gigolo]

[Some of this was just... ridiculous. He'd expected a few weird responses, but when the majority of answers was laughter and creepy looks? He needed a break. This wasn't like home at all; he would get questions left and right and the invitations to romantic meals, the opera, the symphony, various balls and parties, and even the occasional no-nonsense boudoir invite would be pouring in by now. Here... he inexplicably found himself with free time. Completely unheard of! So he'd done something fairly stupid and made that network post to bolster his confidence. It hadn't really helped.

He pads down the hall, barefoot, to get some water with an uncommonly gloomy face. Maybe he just needs to face the harsh reality that very few people actually wanted him for his prowess or company, for him, all they really wanted was time with the Chosen.]

[fonmaster]

This is really filtered?

[Don't worry if you can't tell if he's a boy or a girl from the video, Zelos. That's normal.]

[chosen_gigolo]

Yeup~ Totally private! No one else can see or hear it.

[The kid's got a slight crack in their voice so... maybe boy? Long eyelashes and weird fashion sense for a boy though. Damn this video thing, always throwing off his groove.]

[Video]

[flyingdreams]

[Mrs. Brisby is trying not to giggle.]

You consider yourself an expert?

[Video]

[chosen_gigolo]

[Talking mouse. Well okay then. He tries not to take offense to the giggling.]

I wouldn't be much of an expert if I was the only one to consider myself that, now would I?

[video]

[innocentgear]

_{[From everything you just said there is only one thing she wants to ask about.]}

I don't know much about Valentine's day. I have heard I can celebrate it with my friends but I don't know how...

[video]

[chosen_gigolo]

Well~♥ The day is usually for lovers so if you have someone you've been meaning to ask out, now's the time to do it! But if you want to spend it with your friends, then the easiest way to figure something out is simply to ask what they want to do for the day. I hear there's an amusement park in one of the quadrants, so that could be fun or even possibly romantic if you want to swing it that way.

[indoorscholar]

[Aah, that's right -- it's almost Shinra's favorite holiday! And he still doesn't have any plans to woo Celty...what a horrific oversight.

Private feed or not, he leans forward confidentially.]

So, uh, what can a guy do to sweep his special someone off her feet in a place like this?

[chosen_gigolo]

[Finally, someone who's of legal age and not asking ridiculous questions!]

There are a fair few excellent restaurants around, but if you're looking to sweep her off her feet literally then the casino has a bar and club you might want to try out♥

[Video]

[redcladidealist]

[You know that feeling you get when you don't know if you really want to know the answer to what you're about to ask? Yeah, Lloyd's feeling that right now. He eyes Zelos warily.

But...

Dammit, curiosity.]

...what do you mean? How could advice from you make Valentine's any better? Isn't candy and friends great enough?

[Video]

[chosen_gigolo]

Ah, Bud~! Finally ready to make the transition into manhood~? I've got all kinds of advice if you want to take a sweet hunny out on the town!

[Pff, right. He fully expects a sour look or a laugh from Lloyd, but that's fine. Lloyd's one of the few people Zelos might possibly believe true love actually exists for, somewhere out there in the ether. Or possibly with with a certain hunny but he knows better than to rush that one.]

voice

[bufudine]

[UNLIKE CIELO UP THERE, Serph actually has some (vague, child-like) idea of what romance is, though it's something that's never applied to him. No, Serph is more interested in something else.]

What are those plants in the vase?

[Sorry Zelos, you're getting more questions that aren't what you're looking for.]

video

[chosen_gigolo]

What, these? [He motions to the vase on the nightstand.] They're roses, a flower from my world, though apparently they're found on others too.

[Not the weirdest question he's gotten tonight at least.]

[Video]

[possessivelove]

Hmm, how do you get someone to be more interested in you? I want him to love me back but he's just so...shy about his feelings.

Is there anything maybe I could do to win him over?

[You know, something that's not threatening his life. Or tying him to a chair to hold him hostage from his friends. Or anything she'd normally do, really. Anything actually safe for Yukki would be very useful for Yuno to learn from this obvious romance expert, even if she'd think otherwise.]

[Video]

[chosen_gigolo]

An excellent question, hunny! Though it's hard to believe you'd be having trouble, a cutie like you♥

[Zelos rests his chin on his hand, ready to listen.]

Every situation is different, so why don't you tell me where you two stand now?

video;

[aspiring]

My, the idiot count never seems to go down.

video;

[chosen_gigolo]

Now now, no need to be shy♥ I'm sure we can find even you a date... eventually.

[Maybe with a complete attitude adjustment.]

[clairvoyancies]

...Romantic...arts?

[Goodness, that language is so unnecessarily flowery. He's certainly going over the top to try to impress people. Obviously. And she's fairly certain it's

not

wooorking.]

Do you really think it's wise to meddle in the affair of others?

[chosen_gigolo]

I'm not really meddling. It's not as if I'm going around telling people what they should do unsolicited, y'know? They have to ask me something here first.

[He smiles at her gently.]

How've you been, Tsubaki-hunny? Settling in okay?

[video]

[disastergirl]

I wasn't aware that we had a matchmaker around here.

[sarcasm? ...Maybe just a little.]

[video]

[chosen_gigolo]

Only if that's what you want, Hunny. I'm not gonna just tell you what you should do unless you ask, that'd be rude!