043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[bethehugejerk]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

Comments

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

Then it's even more of a stupid comparison, as trolls only come in grey skin. Most of us aren't that hideous, either.

[Yes, let's not.]

[video]

[acebrotective]

What can I say, in any stories I've heard about "trolls" and such they've never been described like you. You're kinda more like a plush version of one.

[Are you trying to offend him, Karkat? Because this boy doesn't offend easily.]

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

I'm not a plush version of anything!

[Karkat by contrast is pretty easy to offend, given the right subject.]

Do you see these teeth? Do you see the sickle?

[He grits his fangs and draws his regisickle.]

I am stone cold badass and I would thresh your shit six ways from earth Sunday if I had a mind to, which fortunately for you I don't. The point, either way, is shut your flat-toothed trap.

[video]

[acebrotective]

[


Not the intended reaction by far, but he's stifling a snort into his hand.]

No you're definitely more an uglycute plush some girl would have on her shelf. I see your pudge and your big old eyes and your nubby little horns.

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

I'm not a fucking plush! I'm not ugly, I don't have a pudge, there's nothing wrong with my eyes, and my horns aren't nubby! Where do you even get off insulting me when you don't have horns at all? You are a pale, squishy, flat-toothed caricature of a species, a joke of the universes, and reality's saddest punchline. A head of lettuce could out-think you, that infection of facial hair near induces the urge to vomit, and that hat would only ever serve purpose as the receptacle for such an event.

[video]

[acebrotective]

Cool story, bro.

Y'done? I think we're done. 'Kay, bye trollbro.

[Click!]

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

[What.]

[Calling back!]

Don't you hang up on me! My insults are like an atomic bomb of rage, destroying all in their path with no question called. You don't just get to brush it off with a "cool story, bro." It's not a story, I'm not your bro, and nuclear hateblivion will befall your vaporized corpse before I let you call the shots.

[video]

[acebrotective]

It's kind of cool how super dedicated to the hate thing you are, s'all. Like even calling me back? Wow, dude, we've just met, I didn't know you cared so much.

[But he already told him about the choker belonging to Yukari so it's pretty done in his mind???]

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

It's not that kind of hate!

[God damnit. Now he's more irritated - on top of the rest.]

Would you pull your head out of your ass? I don't care about you; it's a principal thing.

[video]

[acebrotective]

...Not that kind of hate? The hell are you talking about?

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

Oh my god, you ignorant douchewaffle. What did you even say that for? If you don't know what I mean, what is even the point of making a big deal about me calling you back?

[video]

[acebrotective]

Because you care about insulting and hating people that clearly don't give a shit? Like, what else?

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

And I told you, it's a principal thing. You disrespected my trolling. You didn't even listen to the insult, did you?

[video]

[acebrotective]

Nah, not really. It's kinda stupid.

[He's not the type to revel in negative things, after all, he doesn't understand what the appeal is to anyone else.]

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

It wasn't stupid! It was carefully thought out to convey proper offense, you uncultured phlegmlobe.

[video]

[acebrotective]

And whoopdeedoo, so you think I'm stupid, you're not the first one to say that. On some days I'd agree with you.

But I'm not trying to get into a contest on who can be more annoying here, I'm saying I've said my piece--that's my friend's choker--so we're done. Bye.

[video]

[bethehugejerk]

[Karkat utterly scowls for a good moment there.]

Fine, fuck off, and don't talk to me again for anything.

[Click.]