caughtinanetwork | 043 ♋ [VIDEO]

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043 ♋ [VIDEO]

[Appearing on screen is a troll, grey-skinned and scowling, utterly unamused as he holds up a tan choker with a heart design. Guess who Sandy Claws visited?]

Thank you, Vatheon, for this pointless and utterly useless gift. This is definitely what I wanted, and you have outdone yourself in practice of earth holidays. I actually liked the stupid lobster until it went and left me this piece of crap.

But if other posts and personal discovery have told me anything, things have been lost and sent where they don't belong. So, I'll make the guess that this thing actually belongs to someone, which is the one saving grace to stop me from throwing it out with the trash. You're welcome.

... On that same subject, though.

[He shifts, coughs.]

If anyone has a--it should look like a crab monster, okay? This white crab thing, a completely badass one. If you have it, just contact me in private and I'll come get it, alright?

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[Karkat hisses a frustrated breath through his teeth.]

See, that's why trolls are better than you. We might be ridiculously violent, and I know it screws us up, but at least we don't screw around about why we kill when we do.

You won't hear me arguing about how fucked up humans can be, but I must say I doubt that trolls are so superior. Call it a bias due to my species.

Okay, fair, we screwed you over. But we're still awesome and I will not be shaken of that conviction, now or ever. We're badass, end of story.

Humans are just as capable of being badass as trolls are, I'm not sorry to say.

Pssht. Give me reason to believe that one and maybe I will give it half a chance. Failing that, your claim is dismissed entirely on account of BS.

Well, I could tell you about human history, but a better way to prove it might be through a strife, I think.

[S...trife....]

I'm talking achievements as a species, idiot, not a glorified bulge measuring contest between individuals. One fight won or lost does not measure how great humans are versus trolls.

It proves we're not as weak as you think, but fine. Here's a bit of history for you.

This one happened during a time when Britain was in an Imperialist phase. The people in the colony of India wanted to gain their freedom, because they were being used for economic gain by the British. They didn't have enough people or materials to have a successful revolution, so they set about getting peace in a nonviolent way, using demonstrations.

One of these demonstrations happened between a group of people and some guards. The guards were instructed to not let anyone past them. The protestors came up to them. They didn't fight. They just kept walking closer until the guards were forced to hit them with their guns, and push them away. The protestors got up, and did it again, and again. Some of them were bleeding, and had broken bones, but they kept doing it anyway.

[Karkat rolls his eyes, but he listens all the same to what Dirk tells him.]

[It's strange to consider. Sure, the course of events in his time spent here have left Karkat with a distinct distaste for killing, something even he recognizes and admits as an untrollish sentiment. But developing that took time, and this near sweep spent with humans hasn't erased the six he lived on his planet, absorbing troll culture. Even as a mutant with reason to argue against many of his society's policies does not mean he rejected them all uniformly, or that they never affected his way of thinking.]

[In other words, to hear a tale of nonviolent resistance is a rather new experience. What's he supposed to think about it? Even setting that aside, he has another question:]

Why didn't the guards just kill them, then?

Mostly because it was illegal. The guards weren't in danger of being hurt, after all.

[Karkat's face screws up as he tries to parse that with the rest, too.]

Sheesh, you humans are soft. That never would have worked with trolls - whoever was resisting would have been shot the first time, and they would have been dumber than a dead grub to have tried it.

That's because the average troll is completely expendable. What, exactly, is wrong with preferring to let people live?

[He shifts where he sits, still frowning some.]

There's nothing wrong with it, it's just--

It's weird to think about. A good part of me agrees with you entirely. Senseless killing is stupid as shit and gets nothing important accomplished. It doesn't fix problems; it makes more. I've seen the result of that myself. If we never played the game and I kept growing up on Alternia, in all likelihood I would have been culled by the time I reached adulthood, if not sooner.

But it's still hard to actually think of a society that doesn't work under troll principals. Good for you, you didn't kill those people, whatever, but growing up in that culture obviously left the switch in my head that says "why didn't they just kill them?"

This is pissing me off. Here I am, a self-proclaimed and undenying shitty example of troll values in action, and yet here I'm getting tripped up by human history that doesn't follow them. Screw my pan with a rusty screwdriver, because it's a dichotomous piece of shit.

There's nothing weird about it, if it's what you grew up with. At least you're self-aware enough to realize that some parts of it are utter shit and realize that you shouldn't support them, even if you're proud of being a troll.

[A genuine compliment from Dirk? It actually is. Apparently Karkat impressed him that much.]

[That's uh. Huh. Karkat's brow scrunches up, and he frankly stares a moment.]

Did I really just hear that from you?

I don't know. What did you hear.

It sounded like--

[...]

No, know what, nevermind. Forget I said anything.

What, it sounded like it wasn't an insult? I can give credit where credit is due.

[Oh? Well then. Karkat straightens up.]

About time you recognized I deserve some.

Back on the actual subject, it's a weird example to use for how badass humans are or aren't. It's a complete different category from troll accomplishments.

... Now that I think about it, the same problem would probably go in reverse, too. Screw it.

No, you just weren't worthy of it until now, obviously. [And he's back to being a jerk, of course.]

I picked it because it wasn't something most trolls could accomplish. Badassitude isn't just how fast you can decapitate someone.

[Karkat carefully sets down his SFC]

[raises him two middle fingers]

[and picks it back up.]

And humans couldn't accomplish an empire spanning the breadth of a galaxy. Badassitude isn't just failing to sit your ass down when someone uses a gun as a club.

[Karkat gets a little applause for the display.]

Well, we've managed a few Empires in our day. But none like the Trolls, I'll give you lot that. Not there was any life in the Planets around us for us to conquer and subjugate.

Shit argument, minus ten points. You couldn't make it past your own moon, and you haven't even terraformed it. The lack of life on other planets in your solar system is a moot point.

Edited 2013-02-02 22:40 (UTC)

Well, let's put that in context. We're only a few thousand years into human development, and we've got space capacity. The only reason we didn't get past that point is because the Game ended that. If it hadn't, there was the potential to reach the level of troll technology. We just weren't given the chance.

Go figure why the game picked that point. Obviously it waited for a point in our history where we were widely accomplished and established across the galaxy. Maybe that's the greatest height you ever would have reached on your earth.

[He does know a girl from another earth of greater space merit, but that's not really relevant here. Other earths have things like half-demons, and people that turn into literal weapons. It's hard to measure one by the accomplishments of another.]

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