Karkat Vantas ♋ carcinoGeneticist (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bethehugejerk) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
caughtinanetwork2013-07-26 11:02 am
bethehugejerk) wrote in caughtinanetwork2013-07-26 11:02 am
046 ♋ [TEXT]
WHAT FOUL AND MERCILESS ENTITY ROLLED OUT OF THE SPECIES APPROPRIATE SLUMBER APPARATUS AND DECIDED TO INVENT TIME
WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS, DID THIS ASSHOLE INSTILL INTO LIVING BEINGS THE CONCEPT OF THINGS HAPPENING BEFORE AND AFTER EACH OTHER
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE AFFLICTED WITH THIS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING TIME PLAYER.
WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS STABLE TIME LOOPS HOLDING THE SHODDY STICKS AND TWINE OF OUR TIMELINE TOGETHER?
WHAT ABOUT THE FLUX OF PEOPLE BACK AND FORTH FROM DIFFERENT SPOTS ALONG THAT LINE LIKE BACKWASH FROM AN ILL-CLEANED MOUTH INTO A SOULMELTING BOTTLE OF FAYGO???
WELL I GUESS THE FUCK NOT, BECAUSE HERE I AM BEING FORCED TO DEAL WITH OVER FIVE YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES LAID OVER THE TOP OF EACH OTHER LIKE PARADOX SPACE DECIDED TO MAKE A PARTICULARLY AWFUL SANDWICH OUT OF THEM.
SAID SANDWICH HAS THEN BEEN FORCE FED DIRECTLY INTO MY THINK PAN
I AM OVERSTUFFED WITH RECOLLECTION AND REMEMBRANCE
MY BRAIN WOULD VOMIT IF IT WERE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. CONTEMPLATE THAT FOR A MINUTE.
OR HOWEVER LONG, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE UNITS, AND NONE OF IT WILL APPROXIMATE THE SCREAMING HEADACHE CURRENTLY DECIMATING MY CRANIAL UNIT.
COULD I NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS IN EASILY DIGESTED PIECES
WOULD THAT BE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO.
SURE, SEND ME BACK A COUPLE HOURS THAT FIRST TIME, BUT NO! YOU SCIENTIST NOOKMONGERS JUST *HAD* TO GIVE ME THE FULL THREE YEARS.
WHO CARES THAT I WAS ALREADY 15 AND A HALF IN EARTH YEARS, I OBVIOUSLY NEEDED THE SQUALID, STULTIFYING EXPERIENCE OF LIVING SOME OF THEM TWICE! PLUS AN EXTRA FEW MONTHS!!
SO UNTIL MY SPONGE STOPS TRYING TO CANNIBALIZE ITSELF (ETA: NOT FUCKING SOON ENOUGH), DO NOT EXPECT COHERENCY FROM ME
BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN SORT OUT THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "YESTERDAY" FROM THE FESTERING REMAINS OF MY OWN THOUGHT ORGAN.
YESTERDAY MEANS TOO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW.
YESTERDAY CAN FRANKLY GO FUCK ITSELF TWICE IN A BRAND NEW ORIFICE I'VE JUST INVENTED FOR IT.
ALL I KNOW IS THE LESS I SEE OF POSSESSED PSYCHOPATHS AND THEIR WEAPONIZED CUTLERY, THE BETTER.
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED SINCE I DISAPPEARED AND WHO'S HERE, BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN CARE TO CHECK THE LIST RIGHT NOW.
WHY, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS, DID THIS ASSHOLE INSTILL INTO LIVING BEINGS THE CONCEPT OF THINGS HAPPENING BEFORE AND AFTER EACH OTHER
AND WHY DO I HAVE TO BE AFFLICTED WITH THIS WHEN I'M NOT EVEN A FUCKING TIME PLAYER.
WAS IT NOT ENOUGH TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS STABLE TIME LOOPS HOLDING THE SHODDY STICKS AND TWINE OF OUR TIMELINE TOGETHER?
WHAT ABOUT THE FLUX OF PEOPLE BACK AND FORTH FROM DIFFERENT SPOTS ALONG THAT LINE LIKE BACKWASH FROM AN ILL-CLEANED MOUTH INTO A SOULMELTING BOTTLE OF FAYGO???
WELL I GUESS THE FUCK NOT, BECAUSE HERE I AM BEING FORCED TO DEAL WITH OVER FIVE YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES LAID OVER THE TOP OF EACH OTHER LIKE PARADOX SPACE DECIDED TO MAKE A PARTICULARLY AWFUL SANDWICH OUT OF THEM.
SAID SANDWICH HAS THEN BEEN FORCE FED DIRECTLY INTO MY THINK PAN
I AM OVERSTUFFED WITH RECOLLECTION AND REMEMBRANCE
MY BRAIN WOULD VOMIT IF IT WERE PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. CONTEMPLATE THAT FOR A MINUTE.
OR HOWEVER LONG, I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE UNITS, AND NONE OF IT WILL APPROXIMATE THE SCREAMING HEADACHE CURRENTLY DECIMATING MY CRANIAL UNIT.
COULD I NOT HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS IN EASILY DIGESTED PIECES
WOULD THAT BE SO FUCKING HARD TO DO.
SURE, SEND ME BACK A COUPLE HOURS THAT FIRST TIME, BUT NO! YOU SCIENTIST NOOKMONGERS JUST *HAD* TO GIVE ME THE FULL THREE YEARS.
WHO CARES THAT I WAS ALREADY 15 AND A HALF IN EARTH YEARS, I OBVIOUSLY NEEDED THE SQUALID, STULTIFYING EXPERIENCE OF LIVING SOME OF THEM TWICE! PLUS AN EXTRA FEW MONTHS!!
SO UNTIL MY SPONGE STOPS TRYING TO CANNIBALIZE ITSELF (ETA: NOT FUCKING SOON ENOUGH), DO NOT EXPECT COHERENCY FROM ME
BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN SORT OUT THE SIMPLE CONCEPT OF "YESTERDAY" FROM THE FESTERING REMAINS OF MY OWN THOUGHT ORGAN.
YESTERDAY MEANS TOO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW.
YESTERDAY CAN FRANKLY GO FUCK ITSELF TWICE IN A BRAND NEW ORIFICE I'VE JUST INVENTED FOR IT.
ALL I KNOW IS THE LESS I SEE OF POSSESSED PSYCHOPATHS AND THEIR WEAPONIZED CUTLERY, THE BETTER.
SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED SINCE I DISAPPEARED AND WHO'S HERE, BECAUSE I CANNOT EVEN CARE TO CHECK THE LIST RIGHT NOW.
[Text]
wow.
just wow.
im seeing all these fucking words. and all im getting from it. is "wah wah wah".
i think maybe instead of sending your fingers all across the keyboard in some butthurt frenzy. you couldve spent that time and energy on something more productive.
[Text]
I AM NOT "BUTTHURT", WHICH IS POSITIVELY THE DUMBEST WORD I'VE EVER READ
I AM DEALING WITH MIXED UP MEMORIES AND PEOPLE I, GASP, ACTUALLY KNOW AND GIVE A SHIT ABOUT
NEITHER OF WHICH CONCERN SOME RANDOM ASSHOLE WHO DECIDED TO HECKLE ME ON A DAY WHEN I AM REALLY NOT UP FOR POINTLESS TROLLING.
SO INSTEAD OF TELLING ME TO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, HOW ABOUT YOU CRAM YOUR STARFISH UP YOUR ASS AND CONTEMPLATE WHAT A WASTE OF SPACE YOU ARE, YOU BLITHERING IGNORANT FUCKWIT.
[Text]
listen man. just calm your shit. wash that seasalt out your butthole. sit back and have some iced tea or something.
maybe count to ten next time you feel the urge to write up another bitchfest. because a simple hi im back works much better than ranting about brain vomit and sponge cannibalism.
oh. and welcome back to vatheon and all that.
[Text]
CLEARLY YOU DO NOT KNOW WHO I AM.
I AM NOT JUST ANY ASSHOLE ON THE NETWORK
I AM NOT JUST A PARTICULARLY LOUD ASSHOLE FARTING ANGER INTO YOUR VISION RECEPTORS
I AM *THE* ASSHOLE SUPREME, JACKASS NUMBER ONE, PRIME GODDAMN DOUCHEBAG ETERNAL.
I AM A FACTORY OF RAGE, AN EMPIRE OF IRE, AND A WHOLE ARMY'S WORTH OF FURY PACKED INTO ONE TROLL.
I DO NOT JUST GO, "HI, I'M BACK" WHEN I'VE BEEN GONE THREE WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH YEARS
AND EVEN IF NOT FOR WHO I AM, I WOULDN'T ANYWAY, BECAUSE THAT'S THE DUMBEST WAY OF REINTRODUCTION AFTER AN ABSENCE THAT PROLONGED THAT ANYONE COULD MAKE.
ADD ON TOP OF THAT THE AFOREMENTIONED GANGBANG OF MEMORIES STUFFED FORCEFULLY INTO MY SKULL.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE WHATSOEVER IT'S LIKE TO TRY TO PROCESS FIVE AND A HALF YEARS WORTH OF MEMORIES AT ONCE
TWO AND A HALF OF WHICH YOU'VE LIVED TWICE IN DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT UNIVERSES AND CIRCUMSTANCES?
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M DEALING WITH.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I BITCHED EVEN WHEN IT WAS ONLY A FEW HOURS WORTH OF NEW MEMORIES SHOVED ON TOP OF A FEW MONTHS OF BEING HERE, BECAUSE IT IS STILL A GODDAMN HEADACHE TO HAVE TO PROCESS THAT MUCH MEMORY GETTING FORCED BACK INTO YOUR BRAIN AT ONCE.
THIS IS SOME STUPIDLY HIGH NUMBER OF TIMES WORSE THAN THAT.
DO YOU REALLY THINK A LITTLE STOP AND COUNT TO TEN IS GOING TO FIX THAT???
TO SAY NOTHING OF THE TIMES I'VE HEARD THAT LITTLE GEM BEFORE!
WOW, COUNTING. THAT SURE IS AN AMAZING CONCEPT.
DO YOU EVEN THINK THAT FUCKING WORKS WHEN YOU'RE ON A RUNAWAY HATETRAIN TO VERBAL DEVASTATION?
HINT: IT DOESN'T COME CLOSE! IF ANYTHING TRYING TO COUNT OUT THE ANGER LIKE A GRUB BEING SCOLDED BY HIS LUSUS PISSES ME OFF MORE
AND THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THAT PARTICULAR SHIT SUNDAE IS THE FACT THAT IT COMES FROM YOU.
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW YOU.
BUT IN RECEIVING JUST THESE TWO MESSAGES FROM YOU, IT HAS BECOME ABUNDANTLY CLEAR IN LIGHT SO BRIGHT THE BLIND WOULD HISS THAT YOU ARE AN UTTER CYST OF A LIVING BEING.
YOU ARE SWOLLEN WITH THE LYMPH OF YOUR OWN PRETENTIOUS DOUCHEBAGGARY
INFLAMED WITH PATRONIZING BULLSHIT, SHITTY INSULTS ALL YOUR OWN, AND THE PURE UNDILUTED ESSENCE OF SMUG TOOL
AND YET YOU JUST WON'T POP, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T ASS YOURSELF TO PUT ANY EFFORT INTO IT.
YOU AREN'T JUST A DOUCHE, YOU'RE A LAZY ONE.
NONE OF YOUR "BURNS" HAVE RISEN ABOVE LUKEWARM.
KEEP TRYING AND MAYBE I'LL THINK OF CHANGING TO A LIGHTER SHIRT.
BUT UNTIL THEN, KEEP THE ICED TEA TO YOURSELF, AND GO CHOKE ON AN ICE CUBE
BECAUSE I DO NOT NEED ANY FAKE ASS CONCERN FROM SOME DIPSHIT WHO THINKS HE CAN TROLL ME.
[Text] oh my god I laughed for a good two minutes
i dont care how much anger youve got crammed into that tiny body of yours. you do not wish for anyone to have to read that much bullshit. thats like a whole new form of torture. you wanna get that rage out of your system you should consider getting yourself a nice diary.
so here. man. lets try this again.
hello and welcome back to vatheon. im your host bro strider. the raddest of the rad. grab a towel and remember. this shit is never going to get easier. if it gives you a migraine theres complimentary aspirin available at every drugstore.
[Text] I'm glad it amused you :3c
YOU'RE DAVE'S BRO??????
[Text]
feel free to commence swooning if you so desire. and i am willing to accept heartfelt apologies.
[Text]
HELL NO
HELL FUCKING NO.
I AM NOT GOING TO SWOON, APOLOGIZE, OR EVEN SWAY ON MY FEET.
MY KNEES ARE MORE SOLID THAN STEEL, MY HEART IS STONE COLD.
STRIDERS MUST ALWAYS FIRST WIN ME OVER, AND YOU ARE ON A FAST TRACK TO DOUCHEVILLE, POPULATION ONE OVERGROWN PUSTULE ON THE ASS OF THE WORLD, HIS UGLY SHADES, AND AN EGO SO HUGE NO ONE ELSE COULD LIVE THERE EVEN IF THEY SUFFERED THE MASSIVE BRAIN DAMAGE REQUIRED TO WANT TO DO SO.
I ALREADY HAVE THE BEST STRIDER AS MY BEST FRIEND, AND I AM NOT INTERESTED IN SWITCHING THAT UP.
[Text]
you seriously think i wanna be your best friend. and here you are accusing my ego of being huge.
go take a shower kid. i fear i might be overwhelmed by the rancid stench of hypocrisy thats coming off you right now.
[Text]
NO, I DON'T HONESTLY THINK YOU WANT TO BE MY BEST FRIEND.
I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
AND IT'S NOT FUCKING DARLING, SO SHUT YOUR METAPHORICAL MOUTH.
[Text]
wow.
i am blown away here. metaphorically.
ps. rank stain is another one for the shitty insult book. im dead serious.
[Text]
AND IF YOU KEEP GOING ON ABOUT YOUR STUPID BOOK OF INSULTS I AM GOING TO HUNT IT DOWN AND SET IT ON FIRE.
[Text]
now listen. im gonna give you a third chance to play it cool. put on your big boy pants okay.
ready?
sup man. welcome back to vatheon. whatever bullshit you went through and described in awful analogies is over now. heres to more shenanigans under the sea.
[Text]
I HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE, LONGER THAN YOU BY A PRETTY CONSIDERABLE MARGIN
AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ASK HOW LONG YOU'VE BEEN AROUND, BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AROUND LONGER THAN MOST PEOPLE IN GENERAL.
I KNOW HOW THIS PLACE WORKS, WHAT IT'S LIKE, AND I AM NOT GOING TO "PLAY IT COOL" JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SHUT YOUR STUPIDITY SPHINCTER AND CLAMP DOWN ON THE IDIOCY YOU WANT TO SHIT OUT ACROSS THE CONVERSATION.
I DON'T WANT ANY DAMN UNDERSEA SHENANIGANS RIGHT NOW
I DON'T WANT SHENANIGANS PERIOD.
I HAVE HAD WAY TOO MANY SHENANIGANS OF EVERY KIND IMAGINABLE AND SOME OUTSIDE THE BOUNDS OF SENTIENT CONCEPTION, AND I AM TIRED, AND PISSED OFF, AND HAVE NO MORE PATIENCE FOR YOUR TRITE REPETITIVE BULLSHIT!
GO FUCK YOURSELF, OR SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST, OR JUST GO AWAY SOMEWHERE AND PISS OFF SOMEONE ELSE
I'M DONE.
[Click!!!!!]