6 Time Loops ☼ Text

[knightime]

this is a pretty important question
say you were here and left
for lets say
nine months and you happened to have a pet who hasnt seen you in
well
nine months
how would yo-
oh fuck it

how the fuck do you tame a wild chocobo???
because he isnt exactly playing friendly or coming home because i called his name out extra nicely
this is kind of important
id kind of like to get him back but i actually no ding dong about chocobos and how they work
no amount of video games has ever prepared me to actually catch wild chocobos

i also should probably be like
hey whos here
be all like
guess whos back
back again
striders back
call a friend
idk
its been kind of weird
i accidentally walked into a house that isnt actually mine anymore
im not going to elaborate on that for reasons but it was awkward
note to self
find a new place to stay and dont forget because sleeping out here seems like a bad idea
js

so
chocobo

Comments

[spacecase]

STRIDER
where you been cool kid??
weve all been waitin on you for hella days!
rose was even auditioning for a replacement twin thats how hella serious it was

have you thought about asking tavros?
he is still here last time i checked
and he communicates with animals




by the way
STAY WITH US!!!!
we have a big room all to ourselves and everything!

[knightime]

holy mother fucking balls
harley
this isnt like april fools or whatever
i am talking to the real jade harley right?
will the real jade harley plz stand up
...
i really need new material jfc

wait
woah
slow down what
rose is here
i understand nothing but ok

oh i guess i can do that
but i get the feeling game kind of just wants to flip the bird at me for being gone so long
that wasnt intentional btw
i need to rethink my life choices if bird references are making its way into my conversations about birds

whos us and im down

[spacecase]

this is for reals i am indeed jade harley
john, rose and i are all here
put the bird puns to roost--
rest--
fuck now i am doing it

ANYWAY all the rest of us have been here for aforementioned hella days
just waiting on you
waiting like a desperately lonely dog for his time traveling master
pardon the simile
i need to rethink my own life choices if dog refs are the best i can do negl :|

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < daaaaaaaaaave!!!
:33 < ill fetch tavros, hes b33n raising chocobos X33
:33 < and can talk to them
:33 < im sure he can help!

:33 < hi X33

[knightime]

oh sup with you cool cat
ive been told tavros is my man to go about chocobo problems
i guess i should have figured out something incase i left but too late now
just itd be nice because i did kind of try and it kind of went exactly how you think it went
terribly

sup with you

[bestestfurrend]

:33 < h33h33 yes this is very true, tavros is the one to help fur sure!
:33 < oh dear, is he as bitey as ever??

:33 < well lots of stuff has happened since you left! but im doing okay :33

[TEXT]

[bethehugejerk]

OF ALL TEXT QUIRKS I HAD NO INTEREST IN SEEING AGAIN, YOURS RANKS STUNNINGLY HIGH ON THE LIST.
I WOULD ASK HOW YOU EVEN REMEMBER AFTER BEING GONE SO LONG, BUT JOHN AND ROSE'S WEIRD MEMORIES HAVE PROVEN THAT PREDICTABILITY MEANS NOTHING HERE.
BUT AS I'M FEELING A STREAK OF MAGNANIMITY, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO:
TAKE YOUR HEAD, SHOVE IT AS FAR UP YOUR ASS AS IT CAN GO, AND BREATHE IN THAT HORRENDOUS REEK.
THAT IS HOW MUCH YOU STINK AT HANDLING CHOCOBOS.
ALSO, WHAT KIND OF ASTOUNDING MORON DOESN'T THINK THAT AFTER NINE MONTHS SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THE HOUSE HE LIVED IN?
AND IT'S NOT LIKE FINDING A NEW PLACE WOULD BE EASY WITH ALL THIS FREE LIVING SPACE AROUND
EXCEPT, OH WAIT, IT TOTALLY IS AND YOU'RE WHINING FOR NO GOOD REASON.

[TEXT]

[knightime]

holy shit
who took a dump in your breakfast this morning
i didnt even do anything this time around to merit your more than usually angry capslock
thanks for continuously being useless as hell because that didnt actually help me any way shape or form about the chocobo deal
also i already made everyone aware that my handling isnt exactly passable for anything than a load of shit
so now im being verbally abused about something i already knew
thanks
you really know how to enlighten a guy
as for the nine months thing
i didnt really realize it had been that long
i assumed it was one of those deals where people disappear for a relatively short amount of time and come back even if its been years for them thank you very much

congratulations
you missed the point
should i find you a star for that raging fail?
i wasnt even worried about finding a new place
im worried about my god damn chocobo running around wild you dickwad

[TEXT]

[bethehugejerk]

NOT HELPING YOU IS THE POINT, DIMWIT.
DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M THAT STUPID THAT I'D GIVE YOU USELESS ADVICE BY ACCIDENT.
ALSO, THAT'S WHY YOU LOOK AT YOUR SFC AND CHECK THE FUCKING DATE, IDIOT.
EVEN IF YOU HADN'T BEEN GONE THAT LONG WHY WOULDN'T YOU THINK TO CHECK HOW LONG IT WAS?
THAT'S COMMON SENSE
BUT THEN AGAIN, I SHOULD GIVE UP ON THE "COMMON" PART OF THAT AND STOP GIVING MYSELF HEADACHES BY EXPECTING PEOPLE TO USE THEIR THOUGHT ORGANS.
BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU'VE BEEN GONE THAT LONG AND YOUR CHOCOBO IS STILL AROUND, IT'S PROBABLY FINE
EITHER ON ITS OWN OR IN THE CARE OF SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

[Text]

[akumanotrill]

... what's a chocobo?

[Text]

[knightime]

its a giant bird
if you know what an ostrich is
kind of like that except infinitely cuter and makes these weird kwark noises
they also come in the colors of the rainbow
ostrich was a terrible comparison tbh
but i cant really describe it passed like an ostrich and insert an adorable type of bird here had a baby

[Text]

[akumanotrill]

I see. Is it a native bird of this place?

[toreadorkabull]

wOAH,
hEY, dAVE,
iT SEEMS LIKE, vANISHING AND REAPPEARING IS A THING THAT YOU DO OCCASIONALLY,
aND TAMING CHOCOBOS IS DEFINITELY A SKILL i POSSES, tHAT DOES NOT REQUIRE SPECIAL GREEN BRIBERY SUSTENANCE TO MAKE THEM COOPERATIVE,

[knightime]

hey
yeah i guess ive been known for doing that but im back
cool story i know
that would be actually really helpful right now because i got a red chocobo whos all growned up and running around wild and he isnt exactly too keen to talking it out with me atm
not that i speak chocobo in the first place

[toreadorkabull]

dOING THE TRAINING FOR YOU WILL NOT BE A DIFFICULT THING, fOR i HAVE EXCELLENT SKILLS THAT REQUIRE BOTH CONFIDENCE AND,
wELL SKILL,
aCTUALLY,
bOTH OF WHICH i HAVE, iN GREAT QUANTITIES,
i ALSO HAVE BOOKS ABOUT CHOCOBOS, tHAT i CAN LEND YOU FOR CULTIVATING UNDERSTANDING,

[onlyasign]

HELLO, DAVE.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE BACK.

[knightime]

yea
uh hey
whats shakin
i mean you can give me a condensed version since nine months later dealio

[unconchonable]

augh here i wwas hopin wwed finally be rid a you once and for all
maybe your chocobo just has the right idea and knowws youre terrible company
i dont blame it

[knightime]

i actually have little to no knowledge of who you are other than probably passing by dream bubbles
so your opinion of me is basically a load of shit in my book
congratz

you sound mad

text;

[toheirishuman]

dave!!!!!! :D
jesus christ, took you long enough, man!
i was beginning to wonder if you would ever show your face.
wait when did you get a chocobo?
i swear to god if you got a chocobo from stein and kept it a secret from me...
or maybe you got it after i left. which is forgivable, i suppose.
though dude, i know there are a lot of new people in the villa now but that doesn't mean it's not your house anymore!
granted, your room is gone now, but you are more than welcome to stay with the three of us.

text;

[knightime]

theres so much wrong with those statements
i got a chocobo like beginning of this year or something
when i was here
naw not from stein
stein is that creepy fucking doctor isnt he?
definitely not from stein
i didnt even know i lived in a villa so it doesnt really matter to me whether or not i dont have a room
im game for staying in a room with you guys
just dont goober drool on me

[seeriouswizness]

Finally.
You would figure the time guy would know how not to keep all his friends waiting when not banished to a three year meteor trip that sort of makes the time traveling moot.

Honestly the benches in the park are pretty comfortable.
You could get away with sleeping on those and survive, I'm sure.
I would even be willing to knit you a blanket or two to keep you warm.
As for the chocobo, just jump on his back.
Duh.
Climb into a tree and as he struts by, leap out with the wildest of cries and wrestle him to the ground.

You could also consider punching him in the beak, thereby asserting that you are indeed the dominant species.
And therefor he should pay attention to you.

I don't know.

[knightime]

as the time guy i have to be the one whos fashionably late
last one to arrive
the party dont start till i arrive
obviously that means everyone else should arrive before i do
or else theyll miss out
im doing everyone a favor by purposely being late
gdi rose
i do a nice thing for everyone and you still shit on me like ive eaten the last chocolate bar during your time of the month
but hey
at least youre sober this time

i dont really want to be a hobo in the middle of the winter as the early age of 15
as ironic as all those three things at once
i really fucking hate the cold
the best part about the meteor is that it wasnt cold
it was pretty comfy even
shit was pretty nice
i knew you wanted me dead
only someone who wanted me dead would suggest jumping onto the back of a wild chocobo like a dumbass

im not punching a giant bird in the beak
he isnt a fucking shark
were not dealing with land sharks here
rose if i punched you in the face would that be asserting myself so you would pay attention to me?
because mark my words
i will do that everytime i want your attention
which is pretty often

helpful as always

[sniffdeceit]

W3LL LOOK WHO 1T 1S!
YOU AR3 L4T3, COOL K1D

[knightime]

sorry
i guess i kind of do that sometimes

im here now though
forgive me ill do my best to be on time next time
just for you